Finding Your Masterpiece

The great artist Michelangelo said, "Every block of stone has a statue inside, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." We are each the sculptor of our own lives. Are you focusing on your strengths and your positive qualities? Are you focusing on strengths in others as well? Or are you more concerned with faults or misgivings? Are you using your gifts in your daily life? Your strengths are the beautiful sculpture, and the other stuff is the debris that's being carved and chipped away.

Modern psychology has created an assessment called the VIA Test of Character Strengths which outlined 24 positive character qualities we each may have. However, even through history people have known about such things. Christian theology gave us the Cardinal Virtues, Buddhism gave us the Four Virtues which are Metta (loving-kindness), compassion, empathy, and equanimity. These are very similar to ones in the VIA assessment. If you are not focusing on strengths you are not making the most of your God-given gifts, for you, your kids, or those you interact with, or care about. Ask yourself today, are you chipping away to find your masterpiece?

The Tao of Goals -- Self Concordant Goals

"If you don't have a plan, plan to fail."

I have become convinced that goals and vision are the keys to success, but in contemporary America, in my opinion we don't see the whole picture when it comes to creating goals and creating a vision. There are missing pieces and in this aspect, I truly believe we can learn a lot from both Eastern culture, and from the wisdom of the ancients.

The fact is merely creating goals is not enough, one needs to strike balance between structure and insight, logic and intuition, mind and heart -- otherwise, goals are going to lack impact. What it means is the most important thing is creating mindful, self-concordant goals. Self-concordant goals are ones that emanate from within, also referred to as 'intrinsic.' The great writer Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true. And it must follow as the day the night, thou canst not then be false to any other man." When it comes to creating a vision and setting good goals, nothing is truer. The more that our goals reflect our true self, our true inner desires then the more powerful, energizing, and motivating they become, and greater chance we have to realize them.

In Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, one of his top rules is to "begin with the end in mind" and essentially what Covey is referring to is the need to create the goal. I like to think of it as vision. Vision is even greater than goals, because it infers a sense of greater meaning and purpose, something with emotional power that comes from the heart and soul. And, I see the goals and strategies as important steps and elements of the structure of that greater vision.

What it boils down to is that living a life without any destination is merely floating or drifting with no clear sense of purpose. There are times we have all wanted to float a bit; in fact, floating can be a great break from reality. I actually did this for quite some time (too long!) in my twenties, and it was something that I don't regret. However, I got tired of it after a while. I am sure that I learned and gained so much though by living that way. What I came back to was a realization of the need for balance in life. Ultimately it is balancing the inner vision with outer structure and step by step pathway to achievements. The Buddha said we must take the middle path and that is the ultimate path particularly when it comes to vision and goals.

Learn to Fail or Fail To Learn

"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts" Nikki Giovanni

One of my favorite expressions is: Learn to fail or fail to learn...life is a process of endless learning. It's not the person who doesn't make mistakes who thrives but rather it's the person who is always learning from their mistakes who will really continue to grow and succeed. That is why I am always suggesting to people to start meditating because one of its purposes (among others) is quiet reflection. At the end of your day sit quietly and consider what happened -- your interactions with people, choices you made, circumstances you put yourself into. Could you have done anything differently? Made better choices? Optimized something? At the same time, also give yourself a pat on the back for something you did well. How could you bring more of that into your life?

Reduce Stress and Enhance Well-being Through Cultivating Your Strengths

There has been much interest recently in the fields of mental healthcare and wellness, as well as in the area of research psychology; on how to find ways to help individuals become more strengths-oriented. This means living more from one’s strengths, virtues, skills, talents, gifts, rather than from deficits. This may be new in terms of modern healthcare, but the fact is this is really nothing new - in instinctive or intuitive ways people have relied upon the use of personal strengths as long as humans have desired to improve their lives. Nonetheless, as the modern research is showing, a well-thought, evidence-based use of tools such as research, assessments, guidance, and coaching can be an extremely helpful aid in realizing and living one’s strengths.

Today, exciting research on strengths and practical application comes primarily from the emerging field of positive psychology. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on disease or illness; fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery.  Positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits. Some of the best assessments currently available for helping to understand personal strengths and put them to use are the Realise2 developed by Alex Linley, the Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Donald Clifton, and the VIA by Martin Seligman. All of these assessments are simple to take and can be either taken online, or ordered directly from the publisher’s website at a moderate cost, or completely free (the VIA is free).

What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully into one’s life is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and improving health. During the middle part of the 20th century, renowned stress researcher Hans Selye became one of the first to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive, and that positive lifestyle behaviors can be beneficial to physiology. He named beneficial stress, eustress. We all know in an intuitive way that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, it can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. The destructive aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye, certain forms of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our health and well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths. Linley’s theory of strengths says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”

Just about anything in life, any activity, could be either stressful or fulfilling depending upon a person’s connection with it. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others become stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of potential contributing factors, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives makes a connection and finds that particular task or activity as strength, whereas the other person finds it as a weakness. The key is very simple: When an activity is strength it energizes; but when it’s a weakness, it drains. When we begin to listen inwardly, practice introspection, mindfulness, reflection, and intuition (and, with the aid of assessments such as those mentioned above), we discover our strengths, thereby improving well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.

Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from one’s internal core; intuitively this is not necessarily new, but in fact quite ancient. However today, exciting new research shows people are learning both intuitively and systematically how to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to bring out their best in all areas of life. When people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.

The Fine Line of Coping and Thriving: Which Side Do You Want to Be On?

Do you realize that your life may be a lot more similar to great powerful achievers such as Hillary or Bill Clinton, Steven Spielberg, Stephen Curry, or Bill Gates than you might think? That's because there's a very fine line between struggling or coping, and moving ahead to flourishing, thriving. We are all living on this razor's edge continuum. The New York Times best-selling author and spiritual teacher Michael Singer says that the average person's life, with all the stress and challenge that goes into daily living, is similar to the quest of a mountain climber; that in other words, we're each scaling our own Kilimanjaro every day but don't realize it! I wholeheartedly agree with Singer, in fact it's something I have always preached.

It actually requires optimal performance to simply make it through a regular day. We have to deal with serious illness, agitated and abusive bosses or mates, toxic substances in our environment, the exponentially speeding pace of technology and the information age, drugs and other social problems, increasing traffic, deteriorating infrastructure in our communities --these are all the stressors we are contending with moment by moment. No walk in the park!

There is a fine line between coping and thriving. The problem is that we sell ourselves short - we don't give ourselves enough credit for being able to walk this thin line, to make it through this daily maze of obstacles and stressors. If we did give ourselves some credit for this, we may find we also begin to see the possibility we could even do more, we each have the potential to become the dynamic, flourishing, amazing person we perhaps inwardly desire to be.

There is actually a scientific principal which shows how this works. In the field of psychology there is something called the Yerkes-Dodson Curve developed by Robert M. Yerkes and John Dodson at the beginning of the 20th century, 1908.

The Yerkes-Dodson Curve displays the relationship between arousal and performance, something we are each subjected to, no matter if we are high or low profile, or no matter our performance level, or socio-economic status. It is a completely individualistic phenomenon. The main idea behind this theory is that when we find the exact level of arousal (or stress) we will perform at our best, period. We move from merely coping to thriving! The challenge is that we each need to find this "sweet spot" so to speak, which can be daunting at times, and we do that by crafting our life and lifestyle in a healthy, enthusiastic, and realistic fashion.

The Mindful Choice: A Tool for Personal Effectiveness and Emotional Well-being

Life is always presenting challenges and without the proper tools to deal with them, you can feel unprepared. So, the question is how do you develop such tools? Regarding stress, there is something called the coping-thriving continuum, which means it is not enough for people to merely cope with stress but to also find ways to thrive or flourish during duress, since stress will always be there and can never be completely turned off. Sometimes it is inevitable individuals are going to have to merely cope, but the idea is to move increasingly toward thriving since no one only wants to just “hang in there,” all the time, that’s not much fun. Thriving means you are on top of things, you are living well, creating and generating the positive stuff you seek in your life. If you feel you are living optimally, then you’re moving in a good direction; but if not, then you might agree you probably need to learn tools and skills that will help provide the ability to deal with stress better, and maybe even begin to thrive.

One great practice I want to introduce to you is what I call The Mindful Choice, influenced by a therapy called Transactional Analysis. In TA which was developed by Eric Berne in the 1970's and popularized by his best-selling book titled "Games People Play," along with another book "I'm OK, You're OK" by Timothy Harris, TA offers a simple and effective model of the mind and personality. Berne taught that we have a parent self, an adult self, and a child self. Perhaps you can get an idea by their names what these are. Interestingly, even though we are "supposed" to be mature, grown adults, we don't always act that way. Sometimes though it may be hard to admit, if you don’t get your way you might get agitated or even scream, kick, or throw things around like an impetuous child. In TA that is described as acting from your child self. On the other hand, at times you may also reprimand, judge, scold, or talk to others in a patronizing or condescending way when you don't think they are measuring up to your standards or judgments (even though you yourself may be performing the same actions as you are judging them for). And likewise at times you even may judge yourself too harshly. When you are acting those ways, you are operating from your parent self.

The optimal way to live - thriving instead of coping - is when you are acting from your adult self. It means you feel clear-minded, balanced, and are making good choices that are healthy, resourceful and wise; choices that are not only good for yourself but for the good of everybody else involved, family, friends, co-workers, and so on. In that place, you are not shutting off your emotions, nor are you overly indulging them yet are honoring, respecting, and listening to them. Marsha Linehan, who created a mindfulness based therapy called DBT, described this as “wise-mind”.

The important question is how do we act from adult self/wise-mind and stay in that mindset as much as possible? Again, it is mostly reflective of our choices. Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are a continual loop that create the cycle of choice. Every choice has a consequence, viewed by some as the universal law that states, “what comes around goes around.” The way we treat others and ourselves, the effort we put into something – really, whatever we focus our mind and energy on yields returns; and, what we don't spend time and energy on, does not. The pursuit of mindfulness is about developing an intuitive and critical awareness of what is important and what we need to focus our mind, energy, and resources into every single moment, this is the power of choice.

For the sake of doing this practice I will try and simplify it as much as possible. If you are operating from your inner child or your parent, call that your lower self. When you are operating from your adult self, or wise-mind, we will call that the higher self or your best self.

The following are the 5 steps of the Mindful Choice process:

Step 1 -- Identify a challenge you are facing

Step 2 -- Use mindful awareness and identify which aspect you are operating from: the higher self, or lower self (child or parent). Notice clearly what thinking and behavior patterns you are using and how the pattern(s) may be destructive in your life.

Step 3 --- Next use the centering practice, breathe, and relax into yourself. Tune into something called your observer self. The observer self is the capacity to step back and watch how you are acting and being --- it is your awareness of thoughts and feelings, your ability to notice, feel, and label emotions and the internal state you are experiencing; it is the capacity to observe your own life. Be aware of your emotions and step outside of them. See them from a distance, you might call this detaching from them, in a positive way.

Step 4 --- Now put your higher self e.g., your adult mind, in charge, and make a mindful choice, about how you will handle this challenge.

Step 5 --- What did you learn about yourself and how you handled the challenge?

Integrating this practice into your life on a regular basis will make a huge difference in the quality of your life and quality of your choices and happiness levels in general. Have fun, stay present, and enjoy the journey!

Self Compassion and the Distracted Mind

In our way of life today in the information age, with its frenetic pace and correlated explosion of media and marketing, there are so many ways in which we are pressured to "keep up with the Joneses," at times it feels like it would be great if we could let it all go and simply not worry about any of it. In fact, there actually is something called F-It therapy -- simply saying F-it and letting go when stress gets overwhelming. I agree with F-It's basic premise, learning to say F-it can be quite liberating, though can be highly challenging at times and can take practice as well. Another thing we might do in order to make the ride and journey a little more joy-filled and less stressed is learn to be more compassionate and allowing toward ourselves and others; it really does start with kindness and compassion towards oneself.

In order to be effective we've got to be able to focus and think clearly about what we are doing, but if our minds are filled with chatter especially harsh, self-loathing thoughts, that task becomes very difficult. So, how do we shut off the endless chatter of our distractable, "monkey mind"? Renowned meditation teacher Jack Kornfield says we need to "quiet the mind in any way we can," and I have found what Kornfield says is true. Sometimes saying F-it may not be enough, so we try other ways. Meditation, yoga, breathing, are all great remedies and it is a great idea to develop a daily practice incorporating these types of things. Further, we are all unique, and there may be other activities that help quite the mind as well. They could be dancing, drawing or another form of art, writing, walking or other exercise -- really could be anything but try and focus on calming ones, or what Chinese healing refers to as "yin" activities. Any activity that offers you the opportunity to experience a sense of what Claremont Graduate University professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls "flow" --which is being so engaged in an activity you are enjoying that you lose track of yourself, time, and your surroundings, and one also in in which your skill level is a good match for the difficulty -- will help you learn to better manage your mind, thoughts, and moods.

So, finding activities that give the opportunity to experience flow is important but calming the monkey mind can also take some concerted effort as well. One great technique offered by psychologist Elisha Goldstein is called S.T.O.P. a simple acronym which stands for Stop, Take a breath, Observe, and Proceed. Pretty simple, but quite effective. When we notice our mind spinning out of control, away from the task at hand, use these steps to help bring you back to your center. Yet, the key is mindfulness, learning to notice when that is happening. Additionally, research shows that labeling what we are feeling and experiencing is beneficial to gaining more control of our emotions. I use the S.T.O.P. technique very frequently and it works great and can be used with a number of variations as well. One great variation is a to insert a positive affirmation immediately after taking a breath, e.g., a positive statement of self-talk such as, "I am calm and relaxed." Thank you for reading, and I will have more solutions for quieting the monkey mind in upcoming posts…..

Breaking Free From The Mundane

When it is presented to people, many “get” the idea of mindfulness and its practice, but others frequently resist the idea. Why is it?.... We are all seeking similar things in life – we want happiness in so many varied ways, by seeking fulfillment, joy, love, satisfaction, creativity, connection, spontaneity, stimulation, novelty, stability, consistency, etc. - overall I think in these things we are seeking some measure of sweetness in our lives, we want to be uplifted from the boring, drab, gross elements of life that drag us into the mental/physical muck or mundane. Those and other things are what we all constantly seek over and over and over and over and over again. If you notice your life, it is a constant game of seeking such things repetitively without cessation. Have you questioned the purpose of it?

But doesn’t it also occur that we cannot ONLY seek these things endlessly? There has got to be a break. There has got to be some refuge from the same old, same old, same old stuff that we do over and over and over. There has got to some mechanism, perhaps built into our lives by nature that allows us to break free from this repetitive treadmill of seeking. That is what mindfulness is. When one empties the mind and focuses on an internal event (e.g., the breath, or bodily sensations) or something external (e.g., a flickering candle, or our feet walking as they repetitively touch the ground) they are consciously taking a break from life, even if only for a few minutes. One is also taking a break from themselves, breaking free from the treadmill of desires that ensnare them. We do not do this because those desires are bad, evil, sinful, or shameful (well, maybe sometimes...)

No, practicing this is to help make those things more beautiful and enrapturing. When we take even a short break (or perhaps even a longer one) from the desiring or wanting mind or the "chasing" lifestyle, it is actually a way to enhance the pleasure and beauty and joyfulness that we return to when we are done. Without some vacation from the repetitive, it can be all too much to handle. Going to Bermuda or the Bahamas or Cancun are great, and that is recommended too, the problem is unless we are millionaires we can't do that everyday, and the other problem is that even in Cancun we won't be de-stressed if our mind is chattering and agitated. Try calming and centering in the here and now and you might find an amazing experience right within.

Expanding Happiness

One of the biggest mistakes I think people make in attempting to be happy is that they become what I (and others) call, MYOPIC. What the word means in this context is they lose sight of the big picture and get hyperfocused on the notion that one particular thing will bring them happiness. Don't mistake what I am saying - it's not that being focused on one thing is bad; no, because being focused on a pursuit or goal is a good idea and will pay dividends. But, ultimately one must STRIKE A BALANCE between expanded awareness and focusing on one specific goal.

These two sides of the balance pie - focus, and big picture vision - are both critically important. However, in my view, seeing and having a grasp for the larger perspective of one's life is critically important to being happy. A great example of this would be the commonly seen saga of rock stars or celebrities. They spend much of their lives hyperfocused on perfecting their skill and craft, attaining success, reaching their goals, and as has been well documented, often ultimately fail to find happiness but rather end up with drug, gambling, other forms of addiction, or depression. Their lives become uni-dimensional because they've lost sight of the forest for the trees. Real happiness comes not from one thing or another, and not from a quick high, but rather from a sense of meaning and fulfillment. It is difficult to find meaning unless we grasp an expanded view of how all the parts and dimensions (e.g., the recipe) of our life can fit together. These parts include spirituality, career, health and wellness, and relationships. Don’t miss the point, be mindful of the potential for beauty of the wholeness of life.

Creating A Strengths-based Community

(excerpted from a proposal about developing a strengths based community in a non-profit organization I was participating in)

I am very interested furthering the development of strengths-based communities for example in organizations, or other types of communities. Potentially, this could mean identifying strengths of individuals in the community, and helping individuals learn ways to integrate favorite strengths and utilize them often in their daily lives, e.g., recovery, personal life, work life, and so on. Perhaps even more importantly, this also can mean learning how to help individuals in the community work interactively in nurturing ways to grow personalized strengths and qualities more effectively - to build community based on strengths. Many organizations and communities of various types (education, non-profit, business) exist that are finding ways to do this. These communities are showing that like-minded people can work collaboratively and supportively in creative ways to empower one another through the development of individualized strengths. I have seen many that are currently doing this, but one that is really cool is the Noel Strengths Academy at Azusa Pacific University, the direct website is http://www.apu.edu/strengthsacademy/

I have been discussing strengths for some time in Positive Psychology groups I faciliate, and recently we have identified some important underlying components of strengths. I think one of the most important things when considering strengths is to acknowledge that in our culture people often equate the notion of strength with physicality or perhaps equate strength with "force" or "rigidity." For the most part, the people in the group seemed to agree that these are, if not skewed, then essentially limited views of strength. So, therefore it is important to clarify what we mean when we speak of strengths. The strengths we are referring to when developing strengths are internal strengths or skills or qualities such as strengths of character, talents, aptitudes, life-skills, and so on. I personally feel that authentic internal strength is more closely aligned with concepts like balance, fluidity, firmness, allowance/allowing, humility, tolerance, flexibility, equanimity, clarity, kindness, and other virtues, rather than necessarily associated with rigidity, force, physical strength, oppressiveness, territoriality, toughness, hostility, fear-based perspective, and so on. To some people, the previous statement may seem obvious or even foolish, but unfortunately very often these still tend to be mistaken for strengths. I also think that one of the most important key points about strengths is that strengths always energize us rather than deplete us, and it is a highly individualized process, the theory behind the Realise2 assessment by Linley explains this perspective quite well.

I am aware that many assessments exist that can be useful in helping to identify human strengths, and that can help people integrate personal strengths into their lives. However, no single assessment or even collection of assessments can cover the whole range of possibilities of how the integration of strengths may be able to influence a person's life and recovery. The possibilities are myriad and quite exciting, and frankly the fields of mental health and psychology are merely touching the surface of how this process can be transformational for someone in recovery, or someone seeking to enhance their life.

Simultaneously, because of such myriad possibilities, this means that doing so (integrating strengths) also has the potential to be overwhelming. So, it also seems to make sense that it is critical to simplify and learn about strengths in a methodical and clear-cut way. I have found that the assessments are most importantly vehicles for learning more about oneself, about one's strengths, about the strengths and skills of others, and about strengths in general e.g., they are merely suggestive and not prescriptive, and cannot replace the essential learning curve of self-awareness, reflection, and self-examination.

Although Howard Gardner was certainly not the first to do research or work with human strengths, one might be able to say the basis of the strengths philosophy emanates from, or at least in many ways parallels Gardner's work on Multiple Intelligences (MI) because Gardner helped people to break out of the box to see that intelligence is not one-dimensional; that human intelligence and strength are multi-dimensional and actually differentiated in various modalities and not necessarily only dominated by one single ability as previously thought. Historically in modern science, intelligence has probably most often been described in terms of cognitive capacity.

The primary assessments I am interested in are:

1.The Values in Action (VIA) developed by Martin Seligman former President of the American Psychological Association (APA).

2.The Strengthsfinder 2.0 developed by Donald O. Clifton, who has been referred to as the "father of strengths-based psychology."

3.Multiple Intelligences, developed by Howard Gardner at Harvard University

4.Realise2, this is a UK based assessment with 60 themes which was developed by Alex Linley who studied "strengthspotters" these are people who are skilled in the identification of strengths and skills in others.

5.MBTI, based upon the work of Carl Jung

I think all of the above (as well as perhaps others not mentioned) have merit and can be useful, however, as we discussed, I think it is probably best to rely upon a couple of assessments rather than numerous in order to not be overwhelming. _____
_______________________________________________
Here is a little bit of information about each assessment mentioned
The Values in Action (VIA) this was developed by Martin Seligman (widely considered founder of Positive Psychology) and Chris Peterson and this can be taken free at http://www.authentichappiness.com/
Seligman and Peterson studied many of the global wisdom traditions and came up with 24 of what they felt were the most commonly used virtues falling into 6 categories

1. Wisdom and Knowledge

Creativity
Curiosity
Open-mindedness
Love of learning
Perspective

2. Courage

Bravery
Persistence
Integrity
Zest

3. Love and Humility

Love
Kindness
Social Intelligence

4. Justice

Citizenship
Fairness
Leadership

5. Temperance

Forgiveness and Mercy
Humility
Prudence
Self-control

6. Spirituality and Transcendence

Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality

The VIA merely identifies the individual's top three strengths. It is free to take but for fees can be assessed professionally.

Strengthsfinder
-From the Now Discover Your Strengths website "The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of 34 talent themes. Talents are people's naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. The more dominant a theme is in a person, the greater the theme's impact on that person's behavior and performance."
You can find the names and definitions of the 34 strengths themes identified using Strengthsfinder, at the following link http://www.strengthstest.com/theme_summary.php
Multiple Intelligences
*Gardner identified 8 areas of intelligence

1.Verbal/Linguistic - "Word smart"

2.Musical/Rhythmic - "Music smart"

3.Logical/Mathematical - "Logic smart"

4.Naturalist - "Nature smart"

5.Bodily/Kinesthetic - "Body smart"

6.Visual/Spatial - "Picture smart"

7.Interpersonal - "People smart"

8.Intrapersonal - "Self smart"

also, here is a link to a pretty good free online MI assessment http://www.literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html

Realise2 A UK based assessment from the field of Positive Psychology, over 50,000 people have taken this assessment. -From the Cappeu (the official) website "Realise2 assesses 60 strengths according to the three dimensions of energy, performance and use, making it truly unique and distinct from the typical one-dimensional strengths test. These three dimensions are then used to identify where your strengths lie across the four categories of realised strengths, unrealised strengths, learned behaviours and weaknesses."

"The Strengths Book" written by the developer Linley includes a description of all 60 strengths and explains the theory behind it, which is quite simple but potent. I have this book if you would like to check it out. The official website is http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2.aspx

Also take a look at the Realise2 "4m Model" which will give some better explanation http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2/TheRealise24MModel.aspx

MBTI I will leave this one out for now, since it is perhaps a bit more involved and I think you are already knowledgable of the concepts

Positive Affirmations for Reducing Stress

It is our negative thinking/negative thought patterns that cause a huge amount of stress and drain one's vital life force (energy) -- Negative thoughts creative negative emotions and feelings. One of the best ways to get rid of such negative, draining thoughts and consequent feelings is by replacing them with positive ones. Here is a really good list of 20 positive thoughts (also called affirmations) to replace negative thought patterns. Quite often negative thought patterns are rooted in low feelings about oneself, negative self-worth, hopelessness, lack of focus or direction.

We may not even be aware of how much we are doing this self sabotage to ourselves. For those who are spiritually inclined, combining affirmations with scriptural and inspirational references may be even more potent. Another one of my favorite positive affirmations is, "Every day in every way, I get better and better." This was given by the famous French psychologist Emile Coue sometimes considered the father of auto suggestion. He was highly successful healing all kinds of physical and emotional maladies through only the use of the mind.

I am beautiful (or handsome) inside and out
I am worth it
I am worthy of _____
I am proud of my accomplishments
I am intelligent, caring, and dependable
I am loved
I am successful
I am talented
I am my best self
I am strong
I am the master of my own destiny
I am capable of overcoming my fears
I am thankful for _____
I have the right to speak my mind
I love who I am
I love my _____
I can achieve any goal I set my mind to
I accept myself for who I am
I choose to live my life to the fullest
I deserve to be happy

Source - Be Positive: Twenty Positive Mantras for Positivity http://www.themindfulword.org/2015/positive-personal-mantras-for-positivity/

Healthy Anger and 3rd Wave Cognitive Therapies

I have been working with anger (myself or others) for many years now and I find this to be very gratifying and quite fascinating work. One of the truly interesting things and great misconceptions is that so many people think anger is "wrong." What's great is that when I explain to a new client that anger is not really "wrong" per se they usually look at me with a joyful sense of relief, sort of like finding out, "Oh you mean there's nothing wrong with me?" or "Really? I don't need to be sent to the land of unwanted toys because I have anger?" (e.g., guilt, shame) The limiting belief and notion that anger is wrong could be nothing further from the truth. Anger is a healthy emotion and perhaps one of the most useful emotions that humans have. Yes it is true that when anger is not controlled well, it can be deadly, to both oneself and others. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that it is OK to go around spewing anger all over everyone in close proximity or who is irritating. But the real growth occurs when learning that there is a very fine line between healthy expression of anger, and unhealthy expression or what is often called "toxic" anger.

Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence

Please imagine with me for a moment, if you will. Let's imagine together that if we - all of humanity - stopped focusing so intensively on what is wrong with one another and with ourselves, and rather began focusing more intensively on what is good, positive, and beneficial about one another, then our lives may just change dramatically for the better. I wonder, is this possible?

Well, Martin Seligman created something called the "Values in Action" assessment at the University of Pennsylvania based on his extensive research. Seligman is typically considered the father of strengths-based psychology. Strengths psychology, or Positive Psychology, is concerned with focusing on what is good, healthy, and well with people rather than on what is wrong with them, as unfortunately the field of mental health has tended to do over the past 100 years. Seligman and his team have performed this research on strengths since the 1990’s; over two million people have taken this assessment and it has proven accurate with high validity.

The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is an assessment that offers twenty-four character strengths in six categories which include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence, and can help one understand him or herself better and help one learn to springboard off their innate strengths. Research shows doing this will improve happiness and the overall quality of life. A partial sample of these twenty-four strengths are creativity, curiosity, honesty, zest, kindness, fairness, humility, hope, humor, and so on. The VIA assessment is free to anyone and can be taken online at www.viacharacter.org.

One way to springboard off your strengths using the VIA is to use your favorite character strength in a unique or new way each day. One of my top strengths, or one of my “signature strengths” is Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence. Wow! Think about it, there are so many interesting and creative ways to bring this strength to life. Following are merely a few examples:

1. Gratitude -- Each time you see something of great beauty – STOP! – take a few long, deep breaths and feel a sense of thankfulness. Connect this feeling to a Universal power great than yourself.

2. Visualization – Relax, close your eyes, and allow yourself to go into a brief and simple meditation. Envision past moments of experiencing awe, wonder, or elevation in your life. Maybe it was the birth of your child, or your sibling’s wedding day. Perhaps it was seeing a breathtaking work of art like Pieta by Michelangelo or Water Lillies by Monet. Or, it could have been the internal feeling you had when you met your first love, or the day you graduated college. Go back in your mind to these experiences. Savor them. Make them a part of who you are.

3. Take a few hours on a free day and make a date or appointment with yourself to find and appreciate some beauty and excellence that you would not usually do, something out of ordinary. It could be a walk in nature in a unique place, or observing nature in some new way. Possibly try spending an hour with your child or friend noticing and observing something special or beautiful in them and letting them know about it.

These activities I’ve mentioned are only a few ideas, be creative! Go ahead and take the VIA and have fun playing with your unique gifts!

Avoidance of Change Blocks You From Reaching Your True Potential

The current research seems to bear it out: a Gallup Poll reveals a high percentage of Americans are unhappy and unfulfilled, only 30 % of Americans feel engaged by their work and more than 60% do not feel that their skills and talents are being used effectively in their work or by their employer. One of the driving questions I often think about is: if people are not happy with their lives and with their jobs and with what they spend their time doing each day, then why won’t more people make changes in their life? Why do so many people, as Henry David Thoreau wrote nearly 200 years ago, “lead lives of quiet desperation” remaining unhappy, tragically stuck in situations that are draining them of vitality, hope, enthusiasm, and energy?

Of course part of the blame is to be put on the work and economic system, we know that the state of the American economy in 2014 is not optimal and that there is a big rift between rich and poor and that the material gains of work are not always the driving force they could be for vocational satisfaction. For that matter, even in more comfortable times it’s never been easy to create or find the job of one’s dreams, it simply won’t fall into your lap. Nevertheless, the reality is that America is among the most abundant countries in the world with tremendous opportunity, even with a down but shifting upward economy. We also know that happiness is not ALL about work, there is a bigger picture to the "happiness puzzle," but job satisfaction does comprise a substantial piece of this puzzle. Knowing that one spends almost ½ their waking hours at their work, it then becomes clear how significant job satisfaction will be to life satisfaction.

The reason that people remain stuck is that too often, people tend to avoid change. We tend to avoid making decisions and changes necessary to create happiness and fulfillment based upon feelings of comfort or short-term gain, rather than long-term fulfillment. If there is a steady paycheck coming each week, even if it is not truly what we know we need in terms of happiness, still we don’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize it.

Ask yourself extremely an important question: “What is holding me back to living my passion?” “What are the roadblocks – in terms of psychological, financial, life resources, or anything else – I am allowing to impede my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?” Remember that the founding fathers declared in the Declaration of Independence over 200 years ago that, “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are unalienable rights given by our Creator. What they wrote was true; however, what the founders did not also mention was that we sometimes must pursue or create these things in order for them to work for us in our lives, they probably aren’t going to drop in our laps. Unfortunately, at times we are each our own worst enemy and allow the fear of change, avoidance, or denial to get in the way of finding our own truth. You can therefore ask, what are some ways to make life transformation easier to handle so I won't fear change so much?

Compassionate Heart

Current research in science shows how powerful kindness and compassion are. Obviously the actions of kindness are beneficial, that’s always been known – we have always been able to see clearly how acts of generosity benefit the lives of those we help. For example, if you help a senior citizen neighbor carry the groceries, you can readily observe how it eases the burden on her back and disposition. Or, if a traveler is lost, providing directions to help find the way to a loved one’s home, for example, a smile spreads across her face and you can see how she is immediately relieved of her anxiety. But what science also now shows is that even simply thinking about or envisioning kindness is extremely powerful to well-being, which can also bring benefits to those around us, because we know intuitively that our moods, feeling, and mind states are contagious and can shift the consciousness of any group of people we are with. So, when you are less stressed and feel happy, you tend to convey fewer tense or stressed feelings to those around you.

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that simply meditating on thoughts of kindness and compassion is beneficial to both physical and mental health. Research performed at University of Wisconsin by a team led by Richard Davidson, and research led by Barbara Frederickson at University of North Carolina, as well as research at Duke University show that cultivating thoughts of kindness can help to reduce anxiety, negative emotions and moods, minimize physical pain, lessen anger and psychological stress, and at the same time increases feelings of hopefulness and optimism.

This author is not saying that actions of kindness aren’t extremely important, because of course they are. But the point is that action with spirit and thoughtfulness can even go to a deeper and more profound level, penetrating to the level of the human spirit. When we offer an act of kindness it is truly the spirit with which we perform it that makes it profound. If you give a very generous tip to a waiter at dinner yet snarl, moan, and berate them the whole time they have served you, surely they appreciate the extra pocket change but are probably thinking to themselves (in a cynical, sarcastic manner), “Hey, I can do without the tip, I think I’ll survive this week without your generous help.” But if you do it with a smile and warm heart, they’ll very likely accept it with gratitude and excitement.

So, the message here is not, “Don’t give.” By all means do give --Yes, give! But when you give, give with all your heart, soul, and mind. Also, even when you aren’t giving, you can actually do stuff to help make your heart more pure, so that giving has more meaning. When you’re not able to give in a physical way, you can think about giving, you can meditate on kindness, and contemplate compassion --your heart will change for the better, and others will surely feel it. Doing this, you are cultivating positive emotions and well-being in your own life, which also spreads to those all around you.

Cultivating Positive Strengths

There has been much interest recently in the fields of mental healthcare and allopathic medicine, as well as in the area of research psychology, on how to find ways to help individuals become more strengths-oriented. This means living more from one’s strengths, virtues, skills, talents, gifts, rather than from deficits. This may be new in terms of modern healthcare, but the fact is this is really nothing new, in instinctive or intuitive ways people have relied upon the use of personal strengths as long as humans have desired to improve their lives. Nonetheless, as the modern research is showing, a well-thought, evidence-based use of tools such as research, assessments, guidance and coaching can be an extremely helpful aid in realizing and living one’s strengths.

In my experience and study, I have learned that the use of strengths is truly more art than science, and is really ancient. For example, we can glean tremendous lessons from the historic Chinese masters who understood many truths about strengths. They recognized thousands of years ago that strength was individualized and not “cookie-cutter.” They recognized that strengths emanated internally from self-awareness, and were never about force or power, but instead about skill, subtlety, and mastery. Many of the rules of strengths were outlined years ago in the historic treatise of Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching. Many see Taoism not as religion but a study and observation of life and human nature, of how the natural world works, and of how humans inter-relate with nature.

Exciting research on strengths and practical application has come from the emerging field of positive psychology, which often parallels the ancient insights. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on “disease” or “illness” e.g., fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery, positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits.

Two of the premier tools used in positive psychology to identify and engage human strengths are the VIA developed in the United States by the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, and the Realise2 created in the UK by Alex Linley. Linley developed the fascinating strengths theory that forms the basis of the Realise2 assessment, which explains how strengths work. Linley’s strengths theory, the Realise2 4M model, is fairly simple and straightforward, and is divided into four primary categories, which include: strengths, unrealized strengths, weaknesses, and learned behaviors.

The 4M strengths theory puts forth that a strength is any activity which energizes, is performed well, and is used frequently. 4M theory says strengths use should be marshaled, in other words a person’s strengths should be utilized frequently but still kept in balance. We can relate this notion of marshaling strengths to wisdom from the ancient Taoists about balance. The whole of the Taoist philosophical system was built upon the concept of balance, represented by the yin and yang symbol; the concept of balance is referred to over and over in the Tao Te Ching. A primary lesson we gain from the yin and yang archetype, and from the wisdom of the Tao is that just about everything in life functions more harmoniously when people and culture aspire toward balance. Authentic strength is rooted in balance, self-awareness, and yielding, not force. The Tao Te Ching says, “You must never think of conquering others by force. Whatever strains with force, will soon decay. It is not attuned to the Way…Yielding is the way of the Tao.” In American culture, we tend to live under the perspective that more is better; and, that more action is better. However, the Tao says that balancing action with “yielding” and “being,” is optimal, what is real strength. 4M theory also tells us about the essential importance of “being,” putting forth that with strengths use, more is not necessarily better; and that balance is optimal.

4M theory also gives us “unrealized strengths.” These are energizing activities which are performed well, but tend to have not been used much. It is important to identify unrealized strengths and maximize their use, at least until they become strengths and then marshal or moderate their use. Weaknesses are activities that are de-energizing, not performed well, and their use should be limited. Learned behaviors are ones that are de-energizing, but performed well, and their use should be moderated.

What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and enhancing health. Renowned stress researcher Hans Selye was one of the first researchers to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive; he called beneficial stress, “eustress.” Most of us know in an intuitive way, that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, this can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. Such aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye certain types of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths, and balance their usage. 4M says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”

Just about anything in life could be either stressful or life-enhancing depending upon its use. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others are stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of possible reasons, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives finds that particular task or activity as a strength, whereas the other finds it as a weakness. When we begin to be introspective, reflective, contemplative, and use self-analysis and intuition, we learn what our strengths are and therefore improve well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.

Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from a person’s internal core; again, this is not new, in fact quite ancient. Exciting new research and many people in helping fields are learning to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to help bring out their best in all areas of life. Not only that, but when people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.

Living From Your Center

We live in the “culture of ADHD,” which means that, in our environment, we are constantly inundated by stimulation overload of all types; some of it good, and some bad. The information overload, the marketing and promotion, newsbites, expectations of social peers and family, cultural norms that have grown to unrealistic proportions, interpersonal conflicts, rapidly expanding new technologies and hot new trends -- we've got something new going viral on the Internet just about every nano-second.

Again, some of this stimulation is positive, and some is negative, however, when it reaches the form of “overload” none of it is beneficial because it becomes undue stress. When we can deal with the stimulation in a harmonious way, it can be energizing and useful, this is the difference between positive stress called eustress, and negative stress, or distress. Learning the art of balance, we become skilled at ways to filter what is needed, and what is not, therefore maximizing the positive, life-giving, vitalizing stress and reducing negative stress that drains our energy.

It only makes sense that the bombardment of stress and overload takes us away from what matters most, because we only have so much mental and physical energy to go around, to sustain us each day and each moment. The problem is that often we haven’t made clear to ourselves what truly matters most in our lives; until we become mindful of what is important, what really matters, it is also difficult to create the filters we need for well-being. Only then can we know what we need to get rid of, and what to keep in our moment to moment existence. When we aren’t clear on what truly matters, then we find ourselves bouncing like a ping pong ball from one bit of stimulation to the next. It is only until we find our center that we are truly able to reduce distractions and disharmony.

Living can be a truly creative process and in many ways we can learn lessons from the creative process utilized by artists and creators of all types, for example in music, art, writing, business, construction, and other areas of life probably since the beginning of systematized knowledge or before. Defining what matters and living that way is intelligent, creative, and also an instinctive and intuitive process, what is meant by “living from your center.”

A great tool for this creative purpose is the Life Balance Wheel. It has taken many forms, but at its simplest it is merely a circle with a dot at the center, divided into segments like a pie. The different segments represent a different area of one’s life for example such as spirituality, relationships, health/wellness, work, leisure, creativity, and so on. The circle can be segmented in various ways, whatever makes the most sense to you. However, the way to help define your purpose and live increasingly from the center is to ask yourself important questions about your values such as: “What are my core values, what are the things that matter most to me in the following particular area________________?” (Fill in the blank with one of the life topics).

So, for example, asking yourself the above question for the topic of intimate relationships, the following could be possible answers for defining core values: deep listening, heartfelt compassion, honoring one another, sharing, peace, mutuality, non-hierarchical relationship, giving one another space, working together toward goals, having fun together – these are merely examples, write down what is evocative, what matters to you personally! Based on this hypothetical list, for example, if you have found yourself not listening to your mate at an important time, you can come back to your center and realize in that moment you are not aligned with your core values (in this case, deep listening)and what’s meaningful and important to you, and take steps to get back in alignment. Make this a creative process by brainstorming: try different words, meditate on the process, create and envision new possibilities, and so on. When things enter your life that don’t align with your core values, then learn to draw boundaries and omit them. Living from your center means getting aligned with core values, what matters most. Living in this way helps to minimize cognitive dissonance, or internal conflict, and negative, life-draining stress.

Integrating Mindfulness in Mental Health Recovery

In the recovery community, there is a growing awareness that the conventional system and the "disease" model of care has let us down; at times, it has chronically disempowered mental health clients, many of whom end up in the peer community seeking answers and help. At the same time however, perhaps paradoxically, it should also be acknowledged that the mental health system does many good things for people in recovery; tremendous things actually, in many ways. In learning to self-advocate and become more self-directed, people in recovery must work harmoniously and cooperatively with the conventional system to optimize recovery. I personally try to see that although the system is broken (and is changing, albeit slowly), there are nonetheless good people doing great things, it is important to focus on utilizing existing resources that are helpful, and learn to trust its helpers as much as possible.

Many criticisms of the conventional system do exist, and disempowerment unfortunately still does occur at times, and peers must be aware of it when it does. There are a number of reasons: documented instances of traumatic dehumanization; a lack of empathy and sociocultural awareness among some (but not all) conventional helpers; a systemic focus on deficits and weaknesses instead of on strengths or on amplifying wellness; an approach of "fixing" problems instead of healing or facilitating change; non holistic approaches to mental health; an over reliance upon psychiatric drugs and on pathological labeling; and finally, a hierarchical, and at times even authoritarian approach. It is clear how all of this can surely contribute to substantial feelings of disempowerment. It is also clear that these influences have helped birth the recovery movement.

With that said, one may ask, what can peers in recovery do to become more self-empowered and independent, rather than dependent, or disempowered? The first principle of recovery, as defined by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is that recovery is self-directed. The peer community and the Recovery Learning Communities (RLC's) are designed to help those in recovery become more self-directed, and to develop self-help skills for recovery. One simple yet profound self-help skill is the practice of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is a holistic, non-drug, self-directed, strengths-based approach that can be done by anyone, no matter what stage of recovery he or she is in. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention, being in the moment in a special way, with nonjudgmental awareness. It is about minimizing – even if only for a few minutes at a time -- the distractions of modern living, including the sensory stimulation, technology and information overload, the excessive and at times unrealistic expectations and constant pulls from all directions perpetually experienced in modern life. Sitting in meditation is merely one (though very important) aspect of mindfulness, however, the practice of mindfulness is actually about learning to embrace life each moment more fully in a centered way in body, mind, and spirit. Mindfulness has been practiced in various ways for thousands of years in global cultures, and is now expanding rapidly in the Western mental health field, regarding both practice as a self-help tool and in terms of scientific research.

How does being present and paying attention more deeply aid in recovery? Very simply -- life is happening now, and opening up and experiencing it, awakening to the precious present, is potentially very healing. For example, coinciding with recovery are often feelings of low self-esteem that are connected with guilt and shame, rumination, constant feelings of angst, and worry about how things could or should be, e.g., "If only I had done this..." or "What if things were like this...? or "What if I had become like this...?". This type of thinking is rooted in attachments to a past which cannot be changed or to a future which does not yet exist, or rooted in an inability to embrace the now. A key is relaxing into one's own being, trusting self and others, and learning to embrace positive emotions and positive interpersonal connections. It encompasses learning unconditional self-compassion, e.g., no matter what one has accomplished, how much stuff one owns, how attractive or slim the body is, or anything else – in the here and now.

Some people see this as a defeatist attitude, as though it is resignation about things that cannot be changed, which is simply not true. We are constantly in a state of both being and becoming, but unless we learn “being,” then becoming -- envisioning and creating a new future -- remains perpetually difficult. There are many things we can change about ourselves, some more difficult than others; yet discriminating between the two, what can and cannot be changed, is critical. Constantly challenging oneself with realistic and hardy goals is unquestionably important, yet simultaneously living in the present and learning the art of relaxing into and accepting "what is" is crucial to happiness. This is much different than helpless resignation. The process is not about fixing, fixing is what the conventional system seems bent on doing. We may need to fix some aspects of our situation, yet the whole of who we are does not need fixing, we are complete. This is a foundation of the practice of mindfulness.

Mindfulness’ use in mental health is built upon a foundation of brief tools for managing stress more effectively, self-awareness, and handling difficult emotions. A central idea is the utilization of brief practices, not necessarily long, advanced meditations. It is increasingly being used in the conventional mental health field as well. Current burgeoning therapies include Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mindfulness Based Relapse Prevention Therapy (MBRP), and Mindfulness Based Stress Management (MBSR) among others. Many new self-help skills are being introduced all the time, juxtaposed with ancient time-tested practices. The good news is you don't have to wait for a therapist or other professional to teach you mindfulness. Although there are many involved techniques and practices, at its essence, it’s truly simple. You can begin with simple practices now, and use them any time during your day.

A Guided Mindful Journey Let’s begin together on a guided mindfulness experience: Close your eyes, sit comfortably in your chair but also be straight and align your body. Take a few moments to relax and quiet body, mind, and spirit. Turn your attention let go of all the external stimuli. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Now, take another deep breath, release slowly, and sigh as you release. Next, allow the breath to breathe itself, recognizing there is no right or wrong way to breathe, breathing is truly organic. Although you can consciously intervene in the process, the breath is primarily controlled by your body’s innate wisdom, associated with the autonomic nervous system.

Once again, simply notice the breath breathing itself. Feel your breath like the ocean, envision you and your awareness resting like a leaf on top of the water. Gently allow the breath to move in an out with the ebb and flow of the water; simply notice as it moves, again, a leaf floating atop the gentle, moving water. Now, become aware of your inner reality -- tune in to feelings, thoughts, sensations happening inside of you, any thoughts or feelings from your day. Just let them be, let go, no need for struggle. Allow difficult feelings to move on by, release feelings of tension or anxiety, fear, or pain. Notice any difficult feelings toward self, let them be; let go. Peace and tranquility are now permeating your being. Allow everything to be as it is, with no need to resist. And, as you let go, amazingly, paradoxically, you also become increasingly centered and more in control of your own vital energy. You are in the present, you are living mindfully, you are whole and complete as you are.

It is very empowering to take time each day to do this, to nurture your spirit, and to make a regular commitment for self-care practice. The art of self-compassion, in a sense, self-parenting, is an important step to healing emotional trauma and wounds. So, whether or not the “system” has let us down, we each can, little by little, begin taking back control of our own minds, and our well-being. The reason that such practices have been used for thousands of years, and now like wild-fire in the mental health community is because they work. A few minutes of inward attention practiced consistently can do wonders for self-esteem, an overall state of calmness, and self-efficacy.

Moving Toward Your Strengths

Ask yourself a simple question: Would you rather know a huge pile of information about your problems, or instead know specific solutions, how to change and improve upon them? The question really does sound foolish and simplistic, but for some reason the field of psychology has long been focused upon pathologizing, that is, labelling and describing to a "T" every type of mental health concern. It has created neat little categories in its book, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), its categories include disorders of mood, personality, anxiety, dissociation, adjustment, the list goes on and continues to grow with each new revision.

In many senses understanding problems is useful, and is one side of the healing and well-being equation. However, the truth is that the mental health field has not been very good at finding solutions to problems. Overall, it hasn't learned much about enhancing and amplifying well-being, identifying peoples' strengths or identifying ways of putting strengths into action. Finding resolutions to problems is an important aspect, says psychologist and accepted founder of the positive psychology movement, Martin Seligman. Seligman, though, say that the fields of counseling and psychology in the 21st century largely left out the most important side of the well-being and health equation, better questions that include: what makes people well? How do we increase happiness? How can one flourish? What will it take to make people's lives deeper and more meaningful? How can we increase the level of passion and engagement in life activities and in interpersonal relationships?

This new field of positive psychology founded by Seligman is not really a new field at all, but had been studied and researched for many years prior in the field of psychology by luminaries including Abraham Maslow, who coined the terms, "peak experience" and "self-actualization," and by Carl Rogers who taught that human growth and change happens within, not something transfered by an expert or professional. Carl Jung, former prized pupil of Sigmund Freud, also said that this change process is primarily an inner journey, and is about the harmonizing of unconscious and conscious psychic energies, there were numerous other influences as well. Additionally, the new, scientific study of positive psychology draws heavily from work of ancient cultures and religious philosophies.

A foundational treatise of the new positive psychology -- ideally, one that mental health professionals will begin turning to with increasing frequency -- is a book developed by Seligman and Chris Peterson titled the Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. This book lists 24 identified character strengths grouped in 6 categories. Other researchers in the field and in related fields are examining additional strengths-based metrics as well. Hopefully, psychology has turned a corner toward becoming more enlightened particularly in terms of how it views change and the human personality, toward strengths instead of deficits.

New Perspectives On Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a hot topic; and, my personal experience is that many are intrigued -- those who do not know much about it are attracted, and need to know more. They are captivated by the fascinating subject that has made a trans-continental journey to the Western world from the Far East. Yet, I have also found there is quite a bit of confusion about what mindfulness is. And, there seems to be a lack of agreement about its meaning, with unclear, and perhaps even many erroneous views (at least in this author's humble viewpoint).

Sufficient reasons exist for both the interest and confusion; and, the spawning of a healthy debate on mindfulness is ultimately a positive thing. Mindfulness is a monumentally vast subject, it concerns the mind and consciousness, which are not study topics for the timid or faint of heart. Mindfulness practice (including meditation) is thousands of years old, with a massive amount of history, study, and practice accruing during that time. The English word mindfulness tends to be associated with the Buddhist Vipassana meditation which, again, is thousands of years old and quite extensive and detailed in scope. One brief article such as this one cannot do justice to the magnitude of Buddhist meditative practices and Buddhist spirituality.

The fact remains, nevertheless, that the term mindfulness is also used in a universal way in English. Although Easterners such as Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists, and Sufis have made meditation a fundamental part of their lifestyle, people have practiced mindfulness in cultures across the globe throughout history; it is not solely Eastern or Buddhist. There is no monopoly on mindfulness or on being mindful! One does one need to be part of any particular faith, group, or social club to increase mindfulness. Being mindful is an action, a way of being, a state of consciousness, which is fundamentally part of the human condition. Improving attention and happiness, becoming more self-aware and balanced, actualizing greater virtue, attuning to one's inner states, and developing greater awareness of one's own mind, e.g., greater "mindsight," a term coined by neurobiologist Dr. Dan Siegel, are qualities and characteristics that are available to anyone who desires to put mind and spirit to use through applied effort.

A good definition of mindfulness has been provided by premier teacher, Jon Kabat-Zinn, who is highly influential in bringing mindfulness to popularity in the West. Kabat Zinn says that "mindfulness is moment-to-moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposefully paying attention to things we ordinarily never give a moment's notice to. It is a systematic approach to developing new kinds of control and wisdom in our lives, based on our inner capacities for relaxation, paying attention, awareness, and insight." This has become a commonly accepted definition in the West.

Mindfulness practice typically concerns learning to become attentive to external experience, and becoming aware of one's internal experience through the practice of meditation, and other meditative and contemplative arts such as breathing, sitting, lying, walking, chanting, and so on. It is frequently described by practitioners as becoming the "observer" or witness to one's experiences including thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and sensations, in a non-judgmental way. There is an art to dealing with life's difficulties, similar to navigating a sailboat. In a sense, it is about wisdom and balance -- learning to control the things one is able to control, and conversely letting go of those one cannot. The foundation though is mindfulness, for without awareness and quieting of the mind, one cannot distinguish between what is controllable in life, and what is not.

One fundamental paradox, however, is that the practices serve to bring one to a deeper and richer experience of moment by moment reality, e.g., truth "as it is." Therefore, in a sense, the practices are like training wheels - although the path of practicing mindfulness may never end, eventually one must be able to let go of techniques and learn to dive into the experience of being alive, vital, open and receptive in each moment, which is perhaps the true aim of all mindfulness practice.

It's very possible that the explosion in mindfulness in the West is due, in part, because we are actually coming to an expanded viewpoint of mindfulness. The Buddhists may have had an extensive system of practice historically, but with mindfulness's migration to the West has come some interesting twists in perspective. One main influence is the work of Kabat-Zinn. One of Kabat-Zinn's aims is to distill the powerful benefits of mindfulness practices by removing the associated religious connotations.

I do not believe that Kabat-Zinn is against the practice of Buddhism or Eastern religion, yet his desire is to make available the advantages of mindfulness and meditation - physically, emotionally, and perhaps spiritually as well - to those who are not necessarily Buddhist and may not be open to meditation because of its Buddhist or Eastern roots. Kabat-Zinn recognized that the Buddhist and Yogic texts often referred to meditation as a science, and so he likely considered, why not also treat it as a science, a form of wellness or healthcare treatment in the West? Of course some purists may have trouble with such an approach, but the ultimate results have been difficult to argue with. Kabat-Zinn developed the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center which has proven excellent to help people manage many types of previously resistant physical, mental, and stress-related conditions. His program is currently used in over 250 hospitals across the country, and countless other wellness and treatment centers.

Many other conventional and holistic health practitioners, researchers and writers are following Kabat-Zinn's lead, taking the ball and running with it, so to speak. They are integrating and creating new approaches to mindfulness. For example, Dr. Ellen Langer at Harvard University has performed research on mindfulness and creativity. Others have also integrated mindfulness in unique ways: mindfulness and psychotherapy, mindfulness and healing, mindful career exploration, mindful parenting, mindful education, mindful communication and relationships, mindful business practices -- we truly are, as the authors of the magazine Shambala Sun have put forth, experiencing a "mindfulness revolution."