"Mistakes are a fact of life.
It is the response to error that counts"
Nikki Giovanni
One of my favorite expressions is: Learn to fail or fail to learn...life is a process of endless learning. It's not the person who doesn't make mistakes who thrives but rather it's the person who is always learning from their mistakes who will really continue to grow and succeed. That is why I am always suggesting to people to start meditating because one of its purposes (among others) is quiet reflection. At the end of your day sit quietly and consider what happened -- your interactions with people, choices you made, circumstances you put yourself into. Could you have done anything differently? Made better choices? Optimized something? At the same time, also give yourself a pat on the back for something you did well. How could you bring more of that into your life?
Showing posts with label Strengths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Strengths. Show all posts
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Reduce Stress and Enhance Well-being Through Cultivating Your Strengths
There has been much interest recently in the fields of mental healthcare and wellness, as well as in the area of research psychology; on how to find ways to help individuals become more strengths-oriented. This means living more from one’s strengths, virtues, skills, talents, gifts, rather than from deficits. This may be new in terms of modern healthcare, but the fact is this is really nothing new - in instinctive or intuitive ways people have relied upon the use of personal strengths as long as humans have desired to improve their lives. Nonetheless, as the modern research is showing, a well-thought, evidence-based use of tools such as research, assessments, guidance, and coaching can be an extremely helpful aid in realizing and living one’s strengths.
Today, exciting research on strengths and practical application comes primarily from the emerging field of positive psychology. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on disease or illness; fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery. Positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits. Some of the best assessments currently available for helping to understand personal strengths and put them to use are the Realise2 developed by Alex Linley, the Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Donald Clifton, and the VIA by Martin Seligman. All of these assessments are simple to take and can be either taken online, or ordered directly from the publisher’s website at a moderate cost, or completely free (the VIA is free).
What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully into one’s life is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and improving health. During the middle part of the 20th century, renowned stress researcher Hans Selye became one of the first to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive, and that positive lifestyle behaviors can be beneficial to physiology. He named beneficial stress, eustress. We all know in an intuitive way that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, it can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. The destructive aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye, certain forms of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our health and well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths. Linley’s theory of strengths says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”
Just about anything in life, any activity, could be either stressful or fulfilling depending upon a person’s connection with it. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others become stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of potential contributing factors, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives makes a connection and finds that particular task or activity as strength, whereas the other person finds it as a weakness. The key is very simple: When an activity is strength it energizes; but when it’s a weakness, it drains. When we begin to listen inwardly, practice introspection, mindfulness, reflection, and intuition (and, with the aid of assessments such as those mentioned above), we discover our strengths, thereby improving well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.
Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from one’s internal core; intuitively this is not necessarily new, but in fact quite ancient. However today, exciting new research shows people are learning both intuitively and systematically how to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to bring out their best in all areas of life. When people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.
Today, exciting research on strengths and practical application comes primarily from the emerging field of positive psychology. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on disease or illness; fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery. Positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits. Some of the best assessments currently available for helping to understand personal strengths and put them to use are the Realise2 developed by Alex Linley, the Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Donald Clifton, and the VIA by Martin Seligman. All of these assessments are simple to take and can be either taken online, or ordered directly from the publisher’s website at a moderate cost, or completely free (the VIA is free).
What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully into one’s life is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and improving health. During the middle part of the 20th century, renowned stress researcher Hans Selye became one of the first to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive, and that positive lifestyle behaviors can be beneficial to physiology. He named beneficial stress, eustress. We all know in an intuitive way that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, it can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. The destructive aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye, certain forms of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our health and well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths. Linley’s theory of strengths says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”
Just about anything in life, any activity, could be either stressful or fulfilling depending upon a person’s connection with it. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others become stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of potential contributing factors, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives makes a connection and finds that particular task or activity as strength, whereas the other person finds it as a weakness. The key is very simple: When an activity is strength it energizes; but when it’s a weakness, it drains. When we begin to listen inwardly, practice introspection, mindfulness, reflection, and intuition (and, with the aid of assessments such as those mentioned above), we discover our strengths, thereby improving well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.
Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from one’s internal core; intuitively this is not necessarily new, but in fact quite ancient. However today, exciting new research shows people are learning both intuitively and systematically how to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to bring out their best in all areas of life. When people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Creating A Strengths-based Community
(excerpted from a proposal about developing a strengths based community in a non-profit organization I was participating in)
I am very interested furthering the development of strengths-based communities for example in organizations, or other types of communities. Potentially, this could mean identifying strengths of individuals in the community, and helping individuals learn ways to integrate favorite strengths and utilize them often in their daily lives, e.g., recovery, personal life, work life, and so on. Perhaps even more importantly, this also can mean learning how to help individuals in the community work interactively in nurturing ways to grow personalized strengths and qualities more effectively - to build community based on strengths. Many organizations and communities of various types (education, non-profit, business) exist that are finding ways to do this. These communities are showing that like-minded people can work collaboratively and supportively in creative ways to empower one another through the development of individualized strengths. I have seen many that are currently doing this, but one that is really cool is the Noel Strengths Academy at Azusa Pacific University, the direct website is http://www.apu.edu/strengthsacademy/
I have been discussing strengths for some time in Positive Psychology groups I faciliate, and recently we have identified some important underlying components of strengths. I think one of the most important things when considering strengths is to acknowledge that in our culture people often equate the notion of strength with physicality or perhaps equate strength with "force" or "rigidity." For the most part, the people in the group seemed to agree that these are, if not skewed, then essentially limited views of strength. So, therefore it is important to clarify what we mean when we speak of strengths. The strengths we are referring to when developing strengths are internal strengths or skills or qualities such as strengths of character, talents, aptitudes, life-skills, and so on. I personally feel that authentic internal strength is more closely aligned with concepts like balance, fluidity, firmness, allowance/allowing, humility, tolerance, flexibility, equanimity, clarity, kindness, and other virtues, rather than necessarily associated with rigidity, force, physical strength, oppressiveness, territoriality, toughness, hostility, fear-based perspective, and so on. To some people, the previous statement may seem obvious or even foolish, but unfortunately very often these still tend to be mistaken for strengths. I also think that one of the most important key points about strengths is that strengths always energize us rather than deplete us, and it is a highly individualized process, the theory behind the Realise2 assessment by Linley explains this perspective quite well.
I am aware that many assessments exist that can be useful in helping to identify human strengths, and that can help people integrate personal strengths into their lives. However, no single assessment or even collection of assessments can cover the whole range of possibilities of how the integration of strengths may be able to influence a person's life and recovery. The possibilities are myriad and quite exciting, and frankly the fields of mental health and psychology are merely touching the surface of how this process can be transformational for someone in recovery, or someone seeking to enhance their life.
Simultaneously, because of such myriad possibilities, this means that doing so (integrating strengths) also has the potential to be overwhelming. So, it also seems to make sense that it is critical to simplify and learn about strengths in a methodical and clear-cut way. I have found that the assessments are most importantly vehicles for learning more about oneself, about one's strengths, about the strengths and skills of others, and about strengths in general e.g., they are merely suggestive and not prescriptive, and cannot replace the essential learning curve of self-awareness, reflection, and self-examination.
Although Howard Gardner was certainly not the first to do research or work with human strengths, one might be able to say the basis of the strengths philosophy emanates from, or at least in many ways parallels Gardner's work on Multiple Intelligences (MI) because Gardner helped people to break out of the box to see that intelligence is not one-dimensional; that human intelligence and strength are multi-dimensional and actually differentiated in various modalities and not necessarily only dominated by one single ability as previously thought. Historically in modern science, intelligence has probably most often been described in terms of cognitive capacity.
The primary assessments I am interested in are:
1.The Values in Action (VIA) developed by Martin Seligman former President of the American Psychological Association (APA).
2.The Strengthsfinder 2.0 developed by Donald O. Clifton, who has been referred to as the "father of strengths-based psychology."
3.Multiple Intelligences, developed by Howard Gardner at Harvard University
4.Realise2, this is a UK based assessment with 60 themes which was developed by Alex Linley who studied "strengthspotters" these are people who are skilled in the identification of strengths and skills in others.
5.MBTI, based upon the work of Carl Jung
I think all of the above (as well as perhaps others not mentioned) have merit and can be useful, however, as we discussed, I think it is probably best to rely upon a couple of assessments rather than numerous in order to not be overwhelming. _____
_______________________________________________
Here is a little bit of information about each assessment mentioned
The Values in Action (VIA) this was developed by Martin Seligman (widely considered founder of Positive Psychology) and Chris Peterson and this can be taken free at http://www.authentichappiness.com/
Seligman and Peterson studied many of the global wisdom traditions and came up with 24 of what they felt were the most commonly used virtues falling into 6 categories
1. Wisdom and Knowledge
Creativity
Curiosity
Open-mindedness
Love of learning
Perspective
2. Courage
Bravery
Persistence
Integrity
Zest
3. Love and Humility
Love
Kindness
Social Intelligence
4. Justice
Citizenship
Fairness
Leadership
5. Temperance
Forgiveness and Mercy
Humility
Prudence
Self-control
6. Spirituality and Transcendence
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality
The VIA merely identifies the individual's top three strengths. It is free to take but for fees can be assessed professionally.
Strengthsfinder
-From the Now Discover Your Strengths website "The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of 34 talent themes. Talents are people's naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. The more dominant a theme is in a person, the greater the theme's impact on that person's behavior and performance."
You can find the names and definitions of the 34 strengths themes identified using Strengthsfinder, at the following link http://www.strengthstest.com/theme_summary.php
Multiple Intelligences
*Gardner identified 8 areas of intelligence
1.Verbal/Linguistic - "Word smart"
2.Musical/Rhythmic - "Music smart"
3.Logical/Mathematical - "Logic smart"
4.Naturalist - "Nature smart"
5.Bodily/Kinesthetic - "Body smart"
6.Visual/Spatial - "Picture smart"
7.Interpersonal - "People smart"
8.Intrapersonal - "Self smart"
also, here is a link to a pretty good free online MI assessment http://www.literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html
Realise2 A UK based assessment from the field of Positive Psychology, over 50,000 people have taken this assessment. -From the Cappeu (the official) website "Realise2 assesses 60 strengths according to the three dimensions of energy, performance and use, making it truly unique and distinct from the typical one-dimensional strengths test. These three dimensions are then used to identify where your strengths lie across the four categories of realised strengths, unrealised strengths, learned behaviours and weaknesses."
"The Strengths Book" written by the developer Linley includes a description of all 60 strengths and explains the theory behind it, which is quite simple but potent. I have this book if you would like to check it out. The official website is http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2.aspx
Also take a look at the Realise2 "4m Model" which will give some better explanation http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2/TheRealise24MModel.aspx
MBTI I will leave this one out for now, since it is perhaps a bit more involved and I think you are already knowledgable of the concepts
I am very interested furthering the development of strengths-based communities for example in organizations, or other types of communities. Potentially, this could mean identifying strengths of individuals in the community, and helping individuals learn ways to integrate favorite strengths and utilize them often in their daily lives, e.g., recovery, personal life, work life, and so on. Perhaps even more importantly, this also can mean learning how to help individuals in the community work interactively in nurturing ways to grow personalized strengths and qualities more effectively - to build community based on strengths. Many organizations and communities of various types (education, non-profit, business) exist that are finding ways to do this. These communities are showing that like-minded people can work collaboratively and supportively in creative ways to empower one another through the development of individualized strengths. I have seen many that are currently doing this, but one that is really cool is the Noel Strengths Academy at Azusa Pacific University, the direct website is http://www.apu.edu/strengthsacademy/
I have been discussing strengths for some time in Positive Psychology groups I faciliate, and recently we have identified some important underlying components of strengths. I think one of the most important things when considering strengths is to acknowledge that in our culture people often equate the notion of strength with physicality or perhaps equate strength with "force" or "rigidity." For the most part, the people in the group seemed to agree that these are, if not skewed, then essentially limited views of strength. So, therefore it is important to clarify what we mean when we speak of strengths. The strengths we are referring to when developing strengths are internal strengths or skills or qualities such as strengths of character, talents, aptitudes, life-skills, and so on. I personally feel that authentic internal strength is more closely aligned with concepts like balance, fluidity, firmness, allowance/allowing, humility, tolerance, flexibility, equanimity, clarity, kindness, and other virtues, rather than necessarily associated with rigidity, force, physical strength, oppressiveness, territoriality, toughness, hostility, fear-based perspective, and so on. To some people, the previous statement may seem obvious or even foolish, but unfortunately very often these still tend to be mistaken for strengths. I also think that one of the most important key points about strengths is that strengths always energize us rather than deplete us, and it is a highly individualized process, the theory behind the Realise2 assessment by Linley explains this perspective quite well.
I am aware that many assessments exist that can be useful in helping to identify human strengths, and that can help people integrate personal strengths into their lives. However, no single assessment or even collection of assessments can cover the whole range of possibilities of how the integration of strengths may be able to influence a person's life and recovery. The possibilities are myriad and quite exciting, and frankly the fields of mental health and psychology are merely touching the surface of how this process can be transformational for someone in recovery, or someone seeking to enhance their life.
Simultaneously, because of such myriad possibilities, this means that doing so (integrating strengths) also has the potential to be overwhelming. So, it also seems to make sense that it is critical to simplify and learn about strengths in a methodical and clear-cut way. I have found that the assessments are most importantly vehicles for learning more about oneself, about one's strengths, about the strengths and skills of others, and about strengths in general e.g., they are merely suggestive and not prescriptive, and cannot replace the essential learning curve of self-awareness, reflection, and self-examination.
Although Howard Gardner was certainly not the first to do research or work with human strengths, one might be able to say the basis of the strengths philosophy emanates from, or at least in many ways parallels Gardner's work on Multiple Intelligences (MI) because Gardner helped people to break out of the box to see that intelligence is not one-dimensional; that human intelligence and strength are multi-dimensional and actually differentiated in various modalities and not necessarily only dominated by one single ability as previously thought. Historically in modern science, intelligence has probably most often been described in terms of cognitive capacity.
The primary assessments I am interested in are:
1.The Values in Action (VIA) developed by Martin Seligman former President of the American Psychological Association (APA).
2.The Strengthsfinder 2.0 developed by Donald O. Clifton, who has been referred to as the "father of strengths-based psychology."
3.Multiple Intelligences, developed by Howard Gardner at Harvard University
4.Realise2, this is a UK based assessment with 60 themes which was developed by Alex Linley who studied "strengthspotters" these are people who are skilled in the identification of strengths and skills in others.
5.MBTI, based upon the work of Carl Jung
I think all of the above (as well as perhaps others not mentioned) have merit and can be useful, however, as we discussed, I think it is probably best to rely upon a couple of assessments rather than numerous in order to not be overwhelming. _____
_______________________________________________
Here is a little bit of information about each assessment mentioned
The Values in Action (VIA) this was developed by Martin Seligman (widely considered founder of Positive Psychology) and Chris Peterson and this can be taken free at http://www.authentichappiness.com/
Seligman and Peterson studied many of the global wisdom traditions and came up with 24 of what they felt were the most commonly used virtues falling into 6 categories
1. Wisdom and Knowledge
Creativity
Curiosity
Open-mindedness
Love of learning
Perspective
2. Courage
Bravery
Persistence
Integrity
Zest
3. Love and Humility
Love
Kindness
Social Intelligence
4. Justice
Citizenship
Fairness
Leadership
5. Temperance
Forgiveness and Mercy
Humility
Prudence
Self-control
6. Spirituality and Transcendence
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality
The VIA merely identifies the individual's top three strengths. It is free to take but for fees can be assessed professionally.
Strengthsfinder
-From the Now Discover Your Strengths website "The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of 34 talent themes. Talents are people's naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. The more dominant a theme is in a person, the greater the theme's impact on that person's behavior and performance."
You can find the names and definitions of the 34 strengths themes identified using Strengthsfinder, at the following link http://www.strengthstest.com/theme_summary.php
Multiple Intelligences
*Gardner identified 8 areas of intelligence
1.Verbal/Linguistic - "Word smart"
2.Musical/Rhythmic - "Music smart"
3.Logical/Mathematical - "Logic smart"
4.Naturalist - "Nature smart"
5.Bodily/Kinesthetic - "Body smart"
6.Visual/Spatial - "Picture smart"
7.Interpersonal - "People smart"
8.Intrapersonal - "Self smart"
also, here is a link to a pretty good free online MI assessment http://www.literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html
Realise2 A UK based assessment from the field of Positive Psychology, over 50,000 people have taken this assessment. -From the Cappeu (the official) website "Realise2 assesses 60 strengths according to the three dimensions of energy, performance and use, making it truly unique and distinct from the typical one-dimensional strengths test. These three dimensions are then used to identify where your strengths lie across the four categories of realised strengths, unrealised strengths, learned behaviours and weaknesses."
"The Strengths Book" written by the developer Linley includes a description of all 60 strengths and explains the theory behind it, which is quite simple but potent. I have this book if you would like to check it out. The official website is http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2.aspx
Also take a look at the Realise2 "4m Model" which will give some better explanation http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2/TheRealise24MModel.aspx
MBTI I will leave this one out for now, since it is perhaps a bit more involved and I think you are already knowledgable of the concepts
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Please imagine with me for a moment, if you will. Let's imagine together that if we - all of humanity - stopped focusing so intensively on what is wrong with one another and with ourselves, and rather began focusing more intensively on what is good, positive, and beneficial about one another, then our lives may just change dramatically for the better. I wonder, is this possible?
Well, Martin Seligman created something called the "Values in Action" assessment at the University of Pennsylvania based on his extensive research. Seligman is typically considered the father of strengths-based psychology. Strengths psychology, or Positive Psychology, is concerned with focusing on what is good, healthy, and well with people rather than on what is wrong with them, as unfortunately the field of mental health has tended to do over the past 100 years. Seligman and his team have performed this research on strengths since the 1990’s; over two million people have taken this assessment and it has proven accurate with high validity.
The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is an assessment that offers twenty-four character strengths in six categories which include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence, and can help one understand him or herself better and help one learn to springboard off their innate strengths. Research shows doing this will improve happiness and the overall quality of life. A partial sample of these twenty-four strengths are creativity, curiosity, honesty, zest, kindness, fairness, humility, hope, humor, and so on. The VIA assessment is free to anyone and can be taken online at www.viacharacter.org.
One way to springboard off your strengths using the VIA is to use your favorite character strength in a unique or new way each day. One of my top strengths, or one of my “signature strengths” is Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence. Wow! Think about it, there are so many interesting and creative ways to bring this strength to life. Following are merely a few examples:
1. Gratitude -- Each time you see something of great beauty – STOP! – take a few long, deep breaths and feel a sense of thankfulness. Connect this feeling to a Universal power great than yourself.
2. Visualization – Relax, close your eyes, and allow yourself to go into a brief and simple meditation. Envision past moments of experiencing awe, wonder, or elevation in your life. Maybe it was the birth of your child, or your sibling’s wedding day. Perhaps it was seeing a breathtaking work of art like Pieta by Michelangelo or Water Lillies by Monet. Or, it could have been the internal feeling you had when you met your first love, or the day you graduated college. Go back in your mind to these experiences. Savor them. Make them a part of who you are.
3. Take a few hours on a free day and make a date or appointment with yourself to find and appreciate some beauty and excellence that you would not usually do, something out of ordinary. It could be a walk in nature in a unique place, or observing nature in some new way. Possibly try spending an hour with your child or friend noticing and observing something special or beautiful in them and letting them know about it.
These activities I’ve mentioned are only a few ideas, be creative! Go ahead and take the VIA and have fun playing with your unique gifts!
Well, Martin Seligman created something called the "Values in Action" assessment at the University of Pennsylvania based on his extensive research. Seligman is typically considered the father of strengths-based psychology. Strengths psychology, or Positive Psychology, is concerned with focusing on what is good, healthy, and well with people rather than on what is wrong with them, as unfortunately the field of mental health has tended to do over the past 100 years. Seligman and his team have performed this research on strengths since the 1990’s; over two million people have taken this assessment and it has proven accurate with high validity.
The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is an assessment that offers twenty-four character strengths in six categories which include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence, and can help one understand him or herself better and help one learn to springboard off their innate strengths. Research shows doing this will improve happiness and the overall quality of life. A partial sample of these twenty-four strengths are creativity, curiosity, honesty, zest, kindness, fairness, humility, hope, humor, and so on. The VIA assessment is free to anyone and can be taken online at www.viacharacter.org.
One way to springboard off your strengths using the VIA is to use your favorite character strength in a unique or new way each day. One of my top strengths, or one of my “signature strengths” is Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence. Wow! Think about it, there are so many interesting and creative ways to bring this strength to life. Following are merely a few examples:
1. Gratitude -- Each time you see something of great beauty – STOP! – take a few long, deep breaths and feel a sense of thankfulness. Connect this feeling to a Universal power great than yourself.
2. Visualization – Relax, close your eyes, and allow yourself to go into a brief and simple meditation. Envision past moments of experiencing awe, wonder, or elevation in your life. Maybe it was the birth of your child, or your sibling’s wedding day. Perhaps it was seeing a breathtaking work of art like Pieta by Michelangelo or Water Lillies by Monet. Or, it could have been the internal feeling you had when you met your first love, or the day you graduated college. Go back in your mind to these experiences. Savor them. Make them a part of who you are.
3. Take a few hours on a free day and make a date or appointment with yourself to find and appreciate some beauty and excellence that you would not usually do, something out of ordinary. It could be a walk in nature in a unique place, or observing nature in some new way. Possibly try spending an hour with your child or friend noticing and observing something special or beautiful in them and letting them know about it.
These activities I’ve mentioned are only a few ideas, be creative! Go ahead and take the VIA and have fun playing with your unique gifts!
Friday, January 24, 2014
Avoidance of Change Blocks You From Reaching Your True Potential
The current research seems to bear it out: a Gallup Poll reveals a high percentage of Americans are unhappy and unfulfilled, only 30 % of Americans feel engaged by their work and more than 60% do not feel that their skills and talents are being used effectively in their work or by their employer. One of the driving questions I often think about is: if people are not happy with their lives and with their jobs and with what they spend their time doing each day, then why won’t more people make changes in their life? Why do so many people, as Henry David Thoreau wrote nearly 200 years ago, “lead lives of quiet desperation” remaining unhappy, tragically stuck in situations that are draining them of vitality, hope, enthusiasm, and energy?
Of course part of the blame is to be put on the work and economic system, we know that the state of the American economy in 2014 is not optimal and that there is a big rift between rich and poor and that the material gains of work are not always the driving force they could be for vocational satisfaction. For that matter, even in more comfortable times it’s never been easy to create or find the job of one’s dreams, it simply won’t fall into your lap. Nevertheless, the reality is that America is among the most abundant countries in the world with tremendous opportunity, even with a down but shifting upward economy. We also know that happiness is not ALL about work, there is a bigger picture to the "happiness puzzle," but job satisfaction does comprise a substantial piece of this puzzle. Knowing that one spends almost ½ their waking hours at their work, it then becomes clear how significant job satisfaction will be to life satisfaction.
The reason that people remain stuck is that too often, people tend to avoid change. We tend to avoid making decisions and changes necessary to create happiness and fulfillment based upon feelings of comfort or short-term gain, rather than long-term fulfillment. If there is a steady paycheck coming each week, even if it is not truly what we know we need in terms of happiness, still we don’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize it.
Ask yourself extremely an important question: “What is holding me back to living my passion?” “What are the roadblocks – in terms of psychological, financial, life resources, or anything else – I am allowing to impede my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?” Remember that the founding fathers declared in the Declaration of Independence over 200 years ago that, “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are unalienable rights given by our Creator. What they wrote was true; however, what the founders did not also mention was that we sometimes must pursue or create these things in order for them to work for us in our lives, they probably aren’t going to drop in our laps. Unfortunately, at times we are each our own worst enemy and allow the fear of change, avoidance, or denial to get in the way of finding our own truth. You can therefore ask, what are some ways to make life transformation easier to handle so I won't fear change so much?
Of course part of the blame is to be put on the work and economic system, we know that the state of the American economy in 2014 is not optimal and that there is a big rift between rich and poor and that the material gains of work are not always the driving force they could be for vocational satisfaction. For that matter, even in more comfortable times it’s never been easy to create or find the job of one’s dreams, it simply won’t fall into your lap. Nevertheless, the reality is that America is among the most abundant countries in the world with tremendous opportunity, even with a down but shifting upward economy. We also know that happiness is not ALL about work, there is a bigger picture to the "happiness puzzle," but job satisfaction does comprise a substantial piece of this puzzle. Knowing that one spends almost ½ their waking hours at their work, it then becomes clear how significant job satisfaction will be to life satisfaction.
The reason that people remain stuck is that too often, people tend to avoid change. We tend to avoid making decisions and changes necessary to create happiness and fulfillment based upon feelings of comfort or short-term gain, rather than long-term fulfillment. If there is a steady paycheck coming each week, even if it is not truly what we know we need in terms of happiness, still we don’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize it.
Ask yourself extremely an important question: “What is holding me back to living my passion?” “What are the roadblocks – in terms of psychological, financial, life resources, or anything else – I am allowing to impede my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?” Remember that the founding fathers declared in the Declaration of Independence over 200 years ago that, “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are unalienable rights given by our Creator. What they wrote was true; however, what the founders did not also mention was that we sometimes must pursue or create these things in order for them to work for us in our lives, they probably aren’t going to drop in our laps. Unfortunately, at times we are each our own worst enemy and allow the fear of change, avoidance, or denial to get in the way of finding our own truth. You can therefore ask, what are some ways to make life transformation easier to handle so I won't fear change so much?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Cultivating Positive Strengths
There has been much interest recently in the fields of mental healthcare and allopathic medicine, as well as in the area of research psychology, on how to find ways to help individuals become more strengths-oriented. This means living more from one’s strengths, virtues, skills, talents, gifts, rather than from deficits. This may be new in terms of modern healthcare, but the fact is this is really nothing new, in instinctive or intuitive ways people have relied upon the use of personal strengths as long as humans have desired to improve their lives. Nonetheless, as the modern research is showing, a well-thought, evidence-based use of tools such as research, assessments, guidance and coaching can be an extremely helpful aid in realizing and living one’s strengths.
In my experience and study, I have learned that the use of strengths is truly more art than science, and is really ancient. For example, we can glean tremendous lessons from the historic Chinese masters who understood many truths about strengths. They recognized thousands of years ago that strength was individualized and not “cookie-cutter.” They recognized that strengths emanated internally from self-awareness, and were never about force or power, but instead about skill, subtlety, and mastery. Many of the rules of strengths were outlined years ago in the historic treatise of Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching. Many see Taoism not as religion but a study and observation of life and human nature, of how the natural world works, and of how humans inter-relate with nature.
Exciting research on strengths and practical application has come from the emerging field of positive psychology, which often parallels the ancient insights. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on “disease” or “illness” e.g., fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery, positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits.
Two of the premier tools used in positive psychology to identify and engage human strengths are the VIA developed in the United States by the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, and the Realise2 created in the UK by Alex Linley. Linley developed the fascinating strengths theory that forms the basis of the Realise2 assessment, which explains how strengths work. Linley’s strengths theory, the Realise2 4M model, is fairly simple and straightforward, and is divided into four primary categories, which include: strengths, unrealized strengths, weaknesses, and learned behaviors.
The 4M strengths theory puts forth that a strength is any activity which energizes, is performed well, and is used frequently. 4M theory says strengths use should be marshaled, in other words a person’s strengths should be utilized frequently but still kept in balance. We can relate this notion of marshaling strengths to wisdom from the ancient Taoists about balance. The whole of the Taoist philosophical system was built upon the concept of balance, represented by the yin and yang symbol; the concept of balance is referred to over and over in the Tao Te Ching. A primary lesson we gain from the yin and yang archetype, and from the wisdom of the Tao is that just about everything in life functions more harmoniously when people and culture aspire toward balance. Authentic strength is rooted in balance, self-awareness, and yielding, not force. The Tao Te Ching says, “You must never think of conquering others by force. Whatever strains with force, will soon decay. It is not attuned to the Way…Yielding is the way of the Tao.” In American culture, we tend to live under the perspective that more is better; and, that more action is better. However, the Tao says that balancing action with “yielding” and “being,” is optimal, what is real strength. 4M theory also tells us about the essential importance of “being,” putting forth that with strengths use, more is not necessarily better; and that balance is optimal.
4M theory also gives us “unrealized strengths.” These are energizing activities which are performed well, but tend to have not been used much. It is important to identify unrealized strengths and maximize their use, at least until they become strengths and then marshal or moderate their use. Weaknesses are activities that are de-energizing, not performed well, and their use should be limited. Learned behaviors are ones that are de-energizing, but performed well, and their use should be moderated.
What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and enhancing health. Renowned stress researcher Hans Selye was one of the first researchers to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive; he called beneficial stress, “eustress.” Most of us know in an intuitive way, that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, this can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. Such aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye certain types of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths, and balance their usage. 4M says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”
Just about anything in life could be either stressful or life-enhancing depending upon its use. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others are stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of possible reasons, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives finds that particular task or activity as a strength, whereas the other finds it as a weakness. When we begin to be introspective, reflective, contemplative, and use self-analysis and intuition, we learn what our strengths are and therefore improve well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.
Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from a person’s internal core; again, this is not new, in fact quite ancient. Exciting new research and many people in helping fields are learning to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to help bring out their best in all areas of life. Not only that, but when people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.
In my experience and study, I have learned that the use of strengths is truly more art than science, and is really ancient. For example, we can glean tremendous lessons from the historic Chinese masters who understood many truths about strengths. They recognized thousands of years ago that strength was individualized and not “cookie-cutter.” They recognized that strengths emanated internally from self-awareness, and were never about force or power, but instead about skill, subtlety, and mastery. Many of the rules of strengths were outlined years ago in the historic treatise of Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching. Many see Taoism not as religion but a study and observation of life and human nature, of how the natural world works, and of how humans inter-relate with nature.
Exciting research on strengths and practical application has come from the emerging field of positive psychology, which often parallels the ancient insights. Positive psychology is spurring a paradigm shift toward wellness and wholeness, and is permeating psychology and mental health. Instead of the traditional focus on “disease” or “illness” e.g., fixing what is wrong with people most of the time through the use of pills or surgery, positive psychology is more holistic and focuses intensively on what is right and well with people, and on how individuals can draw upon their inner resources to improve their lives in terms of enhanced well-being, improved interpersonal relationships, work, creativity, and spiritual pursuits.
Two of the premier tools used in positive psychology to identify and engage human strengths are the VIA developed in the United States by the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, and the Realise2 created in the UK by Alex Linley. Linley developed the fascinating strengths theory that forms the basis of the Realise2 assessment, which explains how strengths work. Linley’s strengths theory, the Realise2 4M model, is fairly simple and straightforward, and is divided into four primary categories, which include: strengths, unrealized strengths, weaknesses, and learned behaviors.
The 4M strengths theory puts forth that a strength is any activity which energizes, is performed well, and is used frequently. 4M theory says strengths use should be marshaled, in other words a person’s strengths should be utilized frequently but still kept in balance. We can relate this notion of marshaling strengths to wisdom from the ancient Taoists about balance. The whole of the Taoist philosophical system was built upon the concept of balance, represented by the yin and yang symbol; the concept of balance is referred to over and over in the Tao Te Ching. A primary lesson we gain from the yin and yang archetype, and from the wisdom of the Tao is that just about everything in life functions more harmoniously when people and culture aspire toward balance. Authentic strength is rooted in balance, self-awareness, and yielding, not force. The Tao Te Ching says, “You must never think of conquering others by force. Whatever strains with force, will soon decay. It is not attuned to the Way…Yielding is the way of the Tao.” In American culture, we tend to live under the perspective that more is better; and, that more action is better. However, the Tao says that balancing action with “yielding” and “being,” is optimal, what is real strength. 4M theory also tells us about the essential importance of “being,” putting forth that with strengths use, more is not necessarily better; and that balance is optimal.
4M theory also gives us “unrealized strengths.” These are energizing activities which are performed well, but tend to have not been used much. It is important to identify unrealized strengths and maximize their use, at least until they become strengths and then marshal or moderate their use. Weaknesses are activities that are de-energizing, not performed well, and their use should be limited. Learned behaviors are ones that are de-energizing, but performed well, and their use should be moderated.
What’s cool about integrating strengths more fully is that not only are the use of strengths empowering and can help maximize performance, but also improve quality of life by reducing stress and enhancing health. Renowned stress researcher Hans Selye was one of the first researchers to recognize that stress isn’t always destructive; he called beneficial stress, “eustress.” Most of us know in an intuitive way, that when we overextend ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities, or simply not take sufficient self-care though proper sleep or diet, this can be detrimental to both our physical or psychological well-being. Such aspects of stress are fairly well known, but according to Selye certain types of stress can also have a specific positive effect upon our well-being. Eustress can be experienced when we acknowledge and consciously implement our strengths, and balance their usage. 4M says that strengths energize people, which is interestingly very similar to health researcher Richard Lazarus’s definition (Lazarus followed up Selye’s research) of eustress which is, “the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings.”
Just about anything in life could be either stressful or life-enhancing depending upon its use. For example, people who are high performers thrive or flourish in the same activities and tasks in which others are stressed out, or suffer from burnout. Why? There are a myriad of possible reasons, but a primary one is because the individual who thrives finds that particular task or activity as a strength, whereas the other finds it as a weakness. When we begin to be introspective, reflective, contemplative, and use self-analysis and intuition, we learn what our strengths are and therefore improve well-being by reducing distress and maximizing eustress.
Putting one’s strengths to use begins with understanding the nature of strengths and how they emanate from a person’s internal core; again, this is not new, in fact quite ancient. Exciting new research and many people in helping fields are learning to put internal strengths to use in very practical and tangible ways to help bring out their best in all areas of life. Not only that, but when people learn to rely upon strengths more often, they energize themselves and become less stressed by generating more positive physiology and biochemistry e.g., more positive hormones and less destructive ones. We are only beginning to see the virtually unlimited potential of realizing and living out one’s personal and individualized strengths.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Living From Your Center
We live in the “culture of ADHD,” which means that, in our environment, we are constantly inundated by stimulation overload of all types; some of it good, and some bad. The information overload, the marketing and promotion, newsbites, expectations of social peers and family, cultural norms that have grown to unrealistic proportions, interpersonal conflicts, rapidly expanding new technologies and hot new trends -- we've got something new going viral on the Internet just about every nano-second.
Again, some of this stimulation is positive, and some is negative, however, when it reaches the form of “overload” none of it is beneficial because it becomes undue stress. When we can deal with the stimulation in a harmonious way, it can be energizing and useful, this is the difference between positive stress called eustress, and negative stress, or distress. Learning the art of balance, we become skilled at ways to filter what is needed, and what is not, therefore maximizing the positive, life-giving, vitalizing stress and reducing negative stress that drains our energy.
It only makes sense that the bombardment of stress and overload takes us away from what matters most, because we only have so much mental and physical energy to go around, to sustain us each day and each moment. The problem is that often we haven’t made clear to ourselves what truly matters most in our lives; until we become mindful of what is important, what really matters, it is also difficult to create the filters we need for well-being. Only then can we know what we need to get rid of, and what to keep in our moment to moment existence. When we aren’t clear on what truly matters, then we find ourselves bouncing like a ping pong ball from one bit of stimulation to the next. It is only until we find our center that we are truly able to reduce distractions and disharmony.
Living can be a truly creative process and in many ways we can learn lessons from the creative process utilized by artists and creators of all types, for example in music, art, writing, business, construction, and other areas of life probably since the beginning of systematized knowledge or before. Defining what matters and living that way is intelligent, creative, and also an instinctive and intuitive process, what is meant by “living from your center.”
A great tool for this creative purpose is the Life Balance Wheel. It has taken many forms, but at its simplest it is merely a circle with a dot at the center, divided into segments like a pie. The different segments represent a different area of one’s life for example such as spirituality, relationships, health/wellness, work, leisure, creativity, and so on. The circle can be segmented in various ways, whatever makes the most sense to you. However, the way to help define your purpose and live increasingly from the center is to ask yourself important questions about your values such as: “What are my core values, what are the things that matter most to me in the following particular area________________?” (Fill in the blank with one of the life topics).
So, for example, asking yourself the above question for the topic of intimate relationships, the following could be possible answers for defining core values: deep listening, heartfelt compassion, honoring one another, sharing, peace, mutuality, non-hierarchical relationship, giving one another space, working together toward goals, having fun together – these are merely examples, write down what is evocative, what matters to you personally! Based on this hypothetical list, for example, if you have found yourself not listening to your mate at an important time, you can come back to your center and realize in that moment you are not aligned with your core values (in this case, deep listening)and what’s meaningful and important to you, and take steps to get back in alignment. Make this a creative process by brainstorming: try different words, meditate on the process, create and envision new possibilities, and so on. When things enter your life that don’t align with your core values, then learn to draw boundaries and omit them. Living from your center means getting aligned with core values, what matters most. Living in this way helps to minimize cognitive dissonance, or internal conflict, and negative, life-draining stress.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Moving Toward Your Strengths
Ask yourself a simple question: Would you rather know a huge pile of information about your problems, or instead know specific solutions, how to change and improve upon them? The question really does sound foolish and simplistic, but for some reason the field of psychology has long been focused upon pathologizing, that is, labelling and describing to a "T" every type of mental health concern. It has created neat little categories in its book, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), its categories include disorders of mood, personality, anxiety, dissociation, adjustment, the list goes on and continues to grow with each new revision.
In many senses understanding problems is useful, and is one side of the healing and well-being equation. However, the truth is that the mental health field has not been very good at finding solutions to problems. Overall, it hasn't learned much about enhancing and amplifying well-being, identifying peoples' strengths or identifying ways of putting strengths into action. Finding resolutions to problems is an important aspect, says psychologist and accepted founder of the positive psychology movement, Martin Seligman. Seligman, though, say that the fields of counseling and psychology in the 21st century largely left out the most important side of the well-being and health equation, better questions that include: what makes people well? How do we increase happiness? How can one flourish? What will it take to make people's lives deeper and more meaningful? How can we increase the level of passion and engagement in life activities and in interpersonal relationships?
This new field of positive psychology founded by Seligman is not really a new field at all, but had been studied and researched for many years prior in the field of psychology by luminaries including Abraham Maslow, who coined the terms, "peak experience" and "self-actualization," and by Carl Rogers who taught that human growth and change happens within, not something transfered by an expert or professional. Carl Jung, former prized pupil of Sigmund Freud, also said that this change process is primarily an inner journey, and is about the harmonizing of unconscious and conscious psychic energies, there were numerous other influences as well. Additionally, the new, scientific study of positive psychology draws heavily from work of ancient cultures and religious philosophies.
A foundational treatise of the new positive psychology -- ideally, one that mental health professionals will begin turning to with increasing frequency -- is a book developed by Seligman and Chris Peterson titled the Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. This book lists 24 identified character strengths grouped in 6 categories. Other researchers in the field and in related fields are examining additional strengths-based metrics as well. Hopefully, psychology has turned a corner toward becoming more enlightened particularly in terms of how it views change and the human personality, toward strengths instead of deficits.
In many senses understanding problems is useful, and is one side of the healing and well-being equation. However, the truth is that the mental health field has not been very good at finding solutions to problems. Overall, it hasn't learned much about enhancing and amplifying well-being, identifying peoples' strengths or identifying ways of putting strengths into action. Finding resolutions to problems is an important aspect, says psychologist and accepted founder of the positive psychology movement, Martin Seligman. Seligman, though, say that the fields of counseling and psychology in the 21st century largely left out the most important side of the well-being and health equation, better questions that include: what makes people well? How do we increase happiness? How can one flourish? What will it take to make people's lives deeper and more meaningful? How can we increase the level of passion and engagement in life activities and in interpersonal relationships?
This new field of positive psychology founded by Seligman is not really a new field at all, but had been studied and researched for many years prior in the field of psychology by luminaries including Abraham Maslow, who coined the terms, "peak experience" and "self-actualization," and by Carl Rogers who taught that human growth and change happens within, not something transfered by an expert or professional. Carl Jung, former prized pupil of Sigmund Freud, also said that this change process is primarily an inner journey, and is about the harmonizing of unconscious and conscious psychic energies, there were numerous other influences as well. Additionally, the new, scientific study of positive psychology draws heavily from work of ancient cultures and religious philosophies.
A foundational treatise of the new positive psychology -- ideally, one that mental health professionals will begin turning to with increasing frequency -- is a book developed by Seligman and Chris Peterson titled the Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. This book lists 24 identified character strengths grouped in 6 categories. Other researchers in the field and in related fields are examining additional strengths-based metrics as well. Hopefully, psychology has turned a corner toward becoming more enlightened particularly in terms of how it views change and the human personality, toward strengths instead of deficits.
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