The Psychology of The Power of Love

Mystics and poets have contemplated that love may be the unifying force of existence itself; and, Romanticism is an intellectual and arts/cultural movement that is built on the foundation of love and transcendent thought; it has been said in these realms that love is beyond verbal communication, beyond words themselves. For example, there is an old story that one day the great spiritual teacher the Buddha (for whom Buddhism is named) was set to give a talk before thousands of people; however when he appeared, instead of proffering a sermon the Buddha held a flower and stood in silence with a beautiful smile on his face. Time passed for a span, and then one of his top disciples, Mahākāśyapa, began to laugh. Buddha handed Mahākāśyapa the flower. It is speculated that this student was the only one who actually grasped or understood the true nature of the Buddha’s teaching – the simple teaching that love is the great lesson transmitted from teacher to student, which cannot be conveyed through words.

We tend to think of love in human terms, but love takes many forms: there is love for animals; love for material objects such as rings,trinkets, or fishing poles; love for a concept, virtue, or activity such as love for “hard work” or for music; and there is spiritual or Divine love meaning love for God. In the path of Vedanta, the philosophy that underlies yogic thought and practice, there is the path called Bhakti Yoga. Bhakti yoga is the path of devotion, which explains that all of the different types of love that exist are merely individual “rays” of the greater prism or spectrum of love called Divine love or love of God. This love is referred to as bhava, and it is also sub-categorized to explain the different rays of human love such as vatsalya bhava, love of a mother toward child; madhur bhava, romantic love; or, sankhya bhava, love between friends; and so on.

In positive psychology, love can be difficult to quantify. However a major finding on happiness research is that the love between husband and wife is very powerful, Seligman (2002) states, “Marriage is a more potent happiness factor than satisfaction with job, or finances, or community” (p.187). Even though the Vedanta idea of Divine love is acknowledged by adherents of the philosophy, in general Americans and humans are social animals so to speak, and tend to thrive within the interdependence and shelter of positive, nurturing relationships. We don’t often tend to find Americans meditating and praying on Godly scriptures up in mountaintop caves. Positive psychology research also shows however, that having faith, a religious practice, and love for a higher power, with everything else considered, is also a good predictor of happiness (Myers, 1992).

References

Myers, D.G. (1992). The pursuit of happiness: Discovering the pathway to fulfillment, well-being, and enduring personal joy. New York, NY: Harper Collins.

Seligman, M.E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.