When it is presented to people, many “get” the idea of mindfulness and its practice, but others frequently resist the idea. Why is it?.... We are all seeking similar things in life – we want happiness in so many varied ways, by seeking fulfillment, joy, love, satisfaction, creativity, connection, spontaneity, stimulation, novelty, stability, consistency, etc. - overall I think in these things we are seeking some measure of sweetness in our lives, we want to be uplifted from the boring, drab, gross elements of life that drag us into the mental/physical muck or mundane. Those and other things are what we all constantly seek over and over and over and over and over again. If you notice your life, it is a constant game of seeking such things repetitively without cessation. Have you questioned the purpose of it?
But doesn’t it also occur that we cannot ONLY seek these things endlessly? There has got to be a break. There has got to be some refuge from the same old, same old, same old stuff that we do over and over and over. There has got to some mechanism, perhaps built into our lives by nature that allows us to break free from this repetitive treadmill of seeking. That is what mindfulness is. When one empties the mind and focuses on an internal event (e.g., the breath, or bodily sensations) or something external (e.g., a flickering candle, or our feet walking as they repetitively touch the ground) they are consciously taking a break from life, even if only for a few minutes. One is also taking a break from themselves, breaking free from the treadmill of desires that ensnare them.
We do not do this because those desires are bad, evil, sinful, or shameful (well, maybe sometimes...)
No, practicing this is to help make those things more beautiful and enrapturing. When we take even a short break (or perhaps even a longer one) from the desiring or wanting mind or the "chasing" lifestyle, it is actually a way to enhance the pleasure and beauty and joyfulness that we return to when we are done. Without some vacation from the repetitive, it can be all too much to handle. Going to Bermuda or the Bahamas or Cancun are great, and that is recommended too, the problem is unless we are millionaires we can't do that everyday, and the other problem is that even in Cancun we won't be de-stressed if our mind is chattering and agitated. Try calming and centering in the here and now and you might find an amazing experience right within.
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Monday, March 14, 2016
Expanding Happiness
One of the biggest mistakes I think people make in attempting to be happy is that they become what I (and others) call, MYOPIC. What the word means in this context is they lose sight of the big picture and get hyperfocused on the notion that one particular thing will bring them happiness. Don't mistake what I am saying - it's not that being focused on one thing is bad; no, because being focused on a pursuit or goal is a good idea and will pay dividends. But, ultimately one must STRIKE A BALANCE between expanded awareness and focusing on one specific goal.
These two sides of the balance pie - focus, and big picture vision - are both critically important. However, in my view, seeing and having a grasp for the larger perspective of one's life is critically important to being happy. A great example of this would be the commonly seen saga of rock stars or celebrities. They spend much of their lives hyperfocused on perfecting their skill and craft, attaining success, reaching their goals, and as has been well documented, often ultimately fail to find happiness but rather end up with drug, gambling, other forms of addiction, or depression. Their lives become uni-dimensional because they've lost sight of the forest for the trees. Real happiness comes not from one thing or another, and not from a quick high, but rather from a sense of meaning and fulfillment. It is difficult to find meaning unless we grasp an expanded view of how all the parts and dimensions (e.g., the recipe) of our life can fit together. These parts include spirituality, career, health and wellness, and relationships. Don’t miss the point, be mindful of the potential for beauty of the wholeness of life.
These two sides of the balance pie - focus, and big picture vision - are both critically important. However, in my view, seeing and having a grasp for the larger perspective of one's life is critically important to being happy. A great example of this would be the commonly seen saga of rock stars or celebrities. They spend much of their lives hyperfocused on perfecting their skill and craft, attaining success, reaching their goals, and as has been well documented, often ultimately fail to find happiness but rather end up with drug, gambling, other forms of addiction, or depression. Their lives become uni-dimensional because they've lost sight of the forest for the trees. Real happiness comes not from one thing or another, and not from a quick high, but rather from a sense of meaning and fulfillment. It is difficult to find meaning unless we grasp an expanded view of how all the parts and dimensions (e.g., the recipe) of our life can fit together. These parts include spirituality, career, health and wellness, and relationships. Don’t miss the point, be mindful of the potential for beauty of the wholeness of life.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Creating A Strengths-based Community
(excerpted from a proposal about developing a strengths based community in a non-profit organization I was participating in)
I am very interested furthering the development of strengths-based communities for example in organizations, or other types of communities. Potentially, this could mean identifying strengths of individuals in the community, and helping individuals learn ways to integrate favorite strengths and utilize them often in their daily lives, e.g., recovery, personal life, work life, and so on. Perhaps even more importantly, this also can mean learning how to help individuals in the community work interactively in nurturing ways to grow personalized strengths and qualities more effectively - to build community based on strengths. Many organizations and communities of various types (education, non-profit, business) exist that are finding ways to do this. These communities are showing that like-minded people can work collaboratively and supportively in creative ways to empower one another through the development of individualized strengths. I have seen many that are currently doing this, but one that is really cool is the Noel Strengths Academy at Azusa Pacific University, the direct website is http://www.apu.edu/strengthsacademy/
I have been discussing strengths for some time in Positive Psychology groups I faciliate, and recently we have identified some important underlying components of strengths. I think one of the most important things when considering strengths is to acknowledge that in our culture people often equate the notion of strength with physicality or perhaps equate strength with "force" or "rigidity." For the most part, the people in the group seemed to agree that these are, if not skewed, then essentially limited views of strength. So, therefore it is important to clarify what we mean when we speak of strengths. The strengths we are referring to when developing strengths are internal strengths or skills or qualities such as strengths of character, talents, aptitudes, life-skills, and so on. I personally feel that authentic internal strength is more closely aligned with concepts like balance, fluidity, firmness, allowance/allowing, humility, tolerance, flexibility, equanimity, clarity, kindness, and other virtues, rather than necessarily associated with rigidity, force, physical strength, oppressiveness, territoriality, toughness, hostility, fear-based perspective, and so on. To some people, the previous statement may seem obvious or even foolish, but unfortunately very often these still tend to be mistaken for strengths. I also think that one of the most important key points about strengths is that strengths always energize us rather than deplete us, and it is a highly individualized process, the theory behind the Realise2 assessment by Linley explains this perspective quite well.
I am aware that many assessments exist that can be useful in helping to identify human strengths, and that can help people integrate personal strengths into their lives. However, no single assessment or even collection of assessments can cover the whole range of possibilities of how the integration of strengths may be able to influence a person's life and recovery. The possibilities are myriad and quite exciting, and frankly the fields of mental health and psychology are merely touching the surface of how this process can be transformational for someone in recovery, or someone seeking to enhance their life.
Simultaneously, because of such myriad possibilities, this means that doing so (integrating strengths) also has the potential to be overwhelming. So, it also seems to make sense that it is critical to simplify and learn about strengths in a methodical and clear-cut way. I have found that the assessments are most importantly vehicles for learning more about oneself, about one's strengths, about the strengths and skills of others, and about strengths in general e.g., they are merely suggestive and not prescriptive, and cannot replace the essential learning curve of self-awareness, reflection, and self-examination.
Although Howard Gardner was certainly not the first to do research or work with human strengths, one might be able to say the basis of the strengths philosophy emanates from, or at least in many ways parallels Gardner's work on Multiple Intelligences (MI) because Gardner helped people to break out of the box to see that intelligence is not one-dimensional; that human intelligence and strength are multi-dimensional and actually differentiated in various modalities and not necessarily only dominated by one single ability as previously thought. Historically in modern science, intelligence has probably most often been described in terms of cognitive capacity.
The primary assessments I am interested in are:
1.The Values in Action (VIA) developed by Martin Seligman former President of the American Psychological Association (APA).
2.The Strengthsfinder 2.0 developed by Donald O. Clifton, who has been referred to as the "father of strengths-based psychology."
3.Multiple Intelligences, developed by Howard Gardner at Harvard University
4.Realise2, this is a UK based assessment with 60 themes which was developed by Alex Linley who studied "strengthspotters" these are people who are skilled in the identification of strengths and skills in others.
5.MBTI, based upon the work of Carl Jung
I think all of the above (as well as perhaps others not mentioned) have merit and can be useful, however, as we discussed, I think it is probably best to rely upon a couple of assessments rather than numerous in order to not be overwhelming. _____
_______________________________________________
Here is a little bit of information about each assessment mentioned
The Values in Action (VIA) this was developed by Martin Seligman (widely considered founder of Positive Psychology) and Chris Peterson and this can be taken free at http://www.authentichappiness.com/
Seligman and Peterson studied many of the global wisdom traditions and came up with 24 of what they felt were the most commonly used virtues falling into 6 categories
1. Wisdom and Knowledge
Creativity
Curiosity
Open-mindedness
Love of learning
Perspective
2. Courage
Bravery
Persistence
Integrity
Zest
3. Love and Humility
Love
Kindness
Social Intelligence
4. Justice
Citizenship
Fairness
Leadership
5. Temperance
Forgiveness and Mercy
Humility
Prudence
Self-control
6. Spirituality and Transcendence
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality
The VIA merely identifies the individual's top three strengths. It is free to take but for fees can be assessed professionally.
Strengthsfinder
-From the Now Discover Your Strengths website "The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of 34 talent themes. Talents are people's naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. The more dominant a theme is in a person, the greater the theme's impact on that person's behavior and performance."
You can find the names and definitions of the 34 strengths themes identified using Strengthsfinder, at the following link http://www.strengthstest.com/theme_summary.php
Multiple Intelligences
*Gardner identified 8 areas of intelligence
1.Verbal/Linguistic - "Word smart"
2.Musical/Rhythmic - "Music smart"
3.Logical/Mathematical - "Logic smart"
4.Naturalist - "Nature smart"
5.Bodily/Kinesthetic - "Body smart"
6.Visual/Spatial - "Picture smart"
7.Interpersonal - "People smart"
8.Intrapersonal - "Self smart"
also, here is a link to a pretty good free online MI assessment http://www.literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html
Realise2 A UK based assessment from the field of Positive Psychology, over 50,000 people have taken this assessment. -From the Cappeu (the official) website "Realise2 assesses 60 strengths according to the three dimensions of energy, performance and use, making it truly unique and distinct from the typical one-dimensional strengths test. These three dimensions are then used to identify where your strengths lie across the four categories of realised strengths, unrealised strengths, learned behaviours and weaknesses."
"The Strengths Book" written by the developer Linley includes a description of all 60 strengths and explains the theory behind it, which is quite simple but potent. I have this book if you would like to check it out. The official website is http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2.aspx
Also take a look at the Realise2 "4m Model" which will give some better explanation http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2/TheRealise24MModel.aspx
MBTI I will leave this one out for now, since it is perhaps a bit more involved and I think you are already knowledgable of the concepts
I am very interested furthering the development of strengths-based communities for example in organizations, or other types of communities. Potentially, this could mean identifying strengths of individuals in the community, and helping individuals learn ways to integrate favorite strengths and utilize them often in their daily lives, e.g., recovery, personal life, work life, and so on. Perhaps even more importantly, this also can mean learning how to help individuals in the community work interactively in nurturing ways to grow personalized strengths and qualities more effectively - to build community based on strengths. Many organizations and communities of various types (education, non-profit, business) exist that are finding ways to do this. These communities are showing that like-minded people can work collaboratively and supportively in creative ways to empower one another through the development of individualized strengths. I have seen many that are currently doing this, but one that is really cool is the Noel Strengths Academy at Azusa Pacific University, the direct website is http://www.apu.edu/strengthsacademy/
I have been discussing strengths for some time in Positive Psychology groups I faciliate, and recently we have identified some important underlying components of strengths. I think one of the most important things when considering strengths is to acknowledge that in our culture people often equate the notion of strength with physicality or perhaps equate strength with "force" or "rigidity." For the most part, the people in the group seemed to agree that these are, if not skewed, then essentially limited views of strength. So, therefore it is important to clarify what we mean when we speak of strengths. The strengths we are referring to when developing strengths are internal strengths or skills or qualities such as strengths of character, talents, aptitudes, life-skills, and so on. I personally feel that authentic internal strength is more closely aligned with concepts like balance, fluidity, firmness, allowance/allowing, humility, tolerance, flexibility, equanimity, clarity, kindness, and other virtues, rather than necessarily associated with rigidity, force, physical strength, oppressiveness, territoriality, toughness, hostility, fear-based perspective, and so on. To some people, the previous statement may seem obvious or even foolish, but unfortunately very often these still tend to be mistaken for strengths. I also think that one of the most important key points about strengths is that strengths always energize us rather than deplete us, and it is a highly individualized process, the theory behind the Realise2 assessment by Linley explains this perspective quite well.
I am aware that many assessments exist that can be useful in helping to identify human strengths, and that can help people integrate personal strengths into their lives. However, no single assessment or even collection of assessments can cover the whole range of possibilities of how the integration of strengths may be able to influence a person's life and recovery. The possibilities are myriad and quite exciting, and frankly the fields of mental health and psychology are merely touching the surface of how this process can be transformational for someone in recovery, or someone seeking to enhance their life.
Simultaneously, because of such myriad possibilities, this means that doing so (integrating strengths) also has the potential to be overwhelming. So, it also seems to make sense that it is critical to simplify and learn about strengths in a methodical and clear-cut way. I have found that the assessments are most importantly vehicles for learning more about oneself, about one's strengths, about the strengths and skills of others, and about strengths in general e.g., they are merely suggestive and not prescriptive, and cannot replace the essential learning curve of self-awareness, reflection, and self-examination.
Although Howard Gardner was certainly not the first to do research or work with human strengths, one might be able to say the basis of the strengths philosophy emanates from, or at least in many ways parallels Gardner's work on Multiple Intelligences (MI) because Gardner helped people to break out of the box to see that intelligence is not one-dimensional; that human intelligence and strength are multi-dimensional and actually differentiated in various modalities and not necessarily only dominated by one single ability as previously thought. Historically in modern science, intelligence has probably most often been described in terms of cognitive capacity.
The primary assessments I am interested in are:
1.The Values in Action (VIA) developed by Martin Seligman former President of the American Psychological Association (APA).
2.The Strengthsfinder 2.0 developed by Donald O. Clifton, who has been referred to as the "father of strengths-based psychology."
3.Multiple Intelligences, developed by Howard Gardner at Harvard University
4.Realise2, this is a UK based assessment with 60 themes which was developed by Alex Linley who studied "strengthspotters" these are people who are skilled in the identification of strengths and skills in others.
5.MBTI, based upon the work of Carl Jung
I think all of the above (as well as perhaps others not mentioned) have merit and can be useful, however, as we discussed, I think it is probably best to rely upon a couple of assessments rather than numerous in order to not be overwhelming. _____
_______________________________________________
Here is a little bit of information about each assessment mentioned
The Values in Action (VIA) this was developed by Martin Seligman (widely considered founder of Positive Psychology) and Chris Peterson and this can be taken free at http://www.authentichappiness.com/
Seligman and Peterson studied many of the global wisdom traditions and came up with 24 of what they felt were the most commonly used virtues falling into 6 categories
1. Wisdom and Knowledge
Creativity
Curiosity
Open-mindedness
Love of learning
Perspective
2. Courage
Bravery
Persistence
Integrity
Zest
3. Love and Humility
Love
Kindness
Social Intelligence
4. Justice
Citizenship
Fairness
Leadership
5. Temperance
Forgiveness and Mercy
Humility
Prudence
Self-control
6. Spirituality and Transcendence
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality
The VIA merely identifies the individual's top three strengths. It is free to take but for fees can be assessed professionally.
Strengthsfinder
-From the Now Discover Your Strengths website "The Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of 34 talent themes. Talents are people's naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. The more dominant a theme is in a person, the greater the theme's impact on that person's behavior and performance."
You can find the names and definitions of the 34 strengths themes identified using Strengthsfinder, at the following link http://www.strengthstest.com/theme_summary.php
Multiple Intelligences
*Gardner identified 8 areas of intelligence
1.Verbal/Linguistic - "Word smart"
2.Musical/Rhythmic - "Music smart"
3.Logical/Mathematical - "Logic smart"
4.Naturalist - "Nature smart"
5.Bodily/Kinesthetic - "Body smart"
6.Visual/Spatial - "Picture smart"
7.Interpersonal - "People smart"
8.Intrapersonal - "Self smart"
also, here is a link to a pretty good free online MI assessment http://www.literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html
Realise2 A UK based assessment from the field of Positive Psychology, over 50,000 people have taken this assessment. -From the Cappeu (the official) website "Realise2 assesses 60 strengths according to the three dimensions of energy, performance and use, making it truly unique and distinct from the typical one-dimensional strengths test. These three dimensions are then used to identify where your strengths lie across the four categories of realised strengths, unrealised strengths, learned behaviours and weaknesses."
"The Strengths Book" written by the developer Linley includes a description of all 60 strengths and explains the theory behind it, which is quite simple but potent. I have this book if you would like to check it out. The official website is http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2.aspx
Also take a look at the Realise2 "4m Model" which will give some better explanation http://www.cappeu.com/Realise2/TheRealise24MModel.aspx
MBTI I will leave this one out for now, since it is perhaps a bit more involved and I think you are already knowledgable of the concepts
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Positive Affirmations for Reducing Stress
It is our negative thinking/negative thought patterns that cause a huge amount of stress and drain one's vital life force (energy) -- Negative thoughts creative negative emotions and feelings. One of the best ways to get rid of such negative, draining thoughts and consequent feelings is by replacing them with positive ones. Here is a really good list of 20 positive thoughts (also called affirmations) to replace negative thought patterns. Quite often negative thought patterns are rooted in low feelings about oneself, negative self-worth, hopelessness, lack of focus or direction.
We may not even be aware of how much we are doing this self sabotage to ourselves. For those who are spiritually inclined, combining affirmations with scriptural and inspirational references may be even more potent. Another one of my favorite positive affirmations is, "Every day in every way, I get better and better." This was given by the famous French psychologist Emile Coue sometimes considered the father of auto suggestion. He was highly successful healing all kinds of physical and emotional maladies through only the use of the mind.
I am beautiful (or handsome) inside and out
I am worth it
I am worthy of _____
I am proud of my accomplishments
I am intelligent, caring, and dependable
I am loved
I am successful
I am talented
I am my best self
I am strong
I am the master of my own destiny
I am capable of overcoming my fears
I am thankful for _____
I have the right to speak my mind
I love who I am
I love my _____
I can achieve any goal I set my mind to
I accept myself for who I am
I choose to live my life to the fullest
I deserve to be happy
Source - Be Positive: Twenty Positive Mantras for Positivity http://www.themindfulword.org/2015/positive-personal-mantras-for-positivity/
We may not even be aware of how much we are doing this self sabotage to ourselves. For those who are spiritually inclined, combining affirmations with scriptural and inspirational references may be even more potent. Another one of my favorite positive affirmations is, "Every day in every way, I get better and better." This was given by the famous French psychologist Emile Coue sometimes considered the father of auto suggestion. He was highly successful healing all kinds of physical and emotional maladies through only the use of the mind.
I am beautiful (or handsome) inside and out
I am worth it
I am worthy of _____
I am proud of my accomplishments
I am intelligent, caring, and dependable
I am loved
I am successful
I am talented
I am my best self
I am strong
I am the master of my own destiny
I am capable of overcoming my fears
I am thankful for _____
I have the right to speak my mind
I love who I am
I love my _____
I can achieve any goal I set my mind to
I accept myself for who I am
I choose to live my life to the fullest
I deserve to be happy
Source - Be Positive: Twenty Positive Mantras for Positivity http://www.themindfulword.org/2015/positive-personal-mantras-for-positivity/
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Healthy Anger and 3rd Wave Cognitive Therapies
I have been working with anger (myself or others) for many years now and I find this to be very gratifying and quite fascinating work. One of the truly interesting things and great misconceptions is that so many people think anger is "wrong." What's great is that when I explain to a new client that anger is not really "wrong" per se they usually look at me with a joyful sense of relief, sort of like finding out, "Oh you mean there's nothing wrong with me?" or "Really? I don't need to be sent to the land of unwanted toys because I have anger?" (e.g., guilt, shame) The limiting belief and notion that anger is wrong could be nothing further from the truth. Anger is a healthy emotion and perhaps one of the most useful emotions that humans have. Yes it is true that when anger is not controlled well, it can be deadly, to both oneself and others. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that it is OK to go around spewing anger all over everyone in close proximity or who is irritating. But the real growth occurs when learning that there is a very fine line between healthy expression of anger, and unhealthy expression or what is often called "toxic" anger.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Please imagine with me for a moment, if you will. Let's imagine together that if we - all of humanity - stopped focusing so intensively on what is wrong with one another and with ourselves, and rather began focusing more intensively on what is good, positive, and beneficial about one another, then our lives may just change dramatically for the better. I wonder, is this possible?
Well, Martin Seligman created something called the "Values in Action" assessment at the University of Pennsylvania based on his extensive research. Seligman is typically considered the father of strengths-based psychology. Strengths psychology, or Positive Psychology, is concerned with focusing on what is good, healthy, and well with people rather than on what is wrong with them, as unfortunately the field of mental health has tended to do over the past 100 years. Seligman and his team have performed this research on strengths since the 1990’s; over two million people have taken this assessment and it has proven accurate with high validity.
The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is an assessment that offers twenty-four character strengths in six categories which include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence, and can help one understand him or herself better and help one learn to springboard off their innate strengths. Research shows doing this will improve happiness and the overall quality of life. A partial sample of these twenty-four strengths are creativity, curiosity, honesty, zest, kindness, fairness, humility, hope, humor, and so on. The VIA assessment is free to anyone and can be taken online at www.viacharacter.org.
One way to springboard off your strengths using the VIA is to use your favorite character strength in a unique or new way each day. One of my top strengths, or one of my “signature strengths” is Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence. Wow! Think about it, there are so many interesting and creative ways to bring this strength to life. Following are merely a few examples:
1. Gratitude -- Each time you see something of great beauty – STOP! – take a few long, deep breaths and feel a sense of thankfulness. Connect this feeling to a Universal power great than yourself.
2. Visualization – Relax, close your eyes, and allow yourself to go into a brief and simple meditation. Envision past moments of experiencing awe, wonder, or elevation in your life. Maybe it was the birth of your child, or your sibling’s wedding day. Perhaps it was seeing a breathtaking work of art like Pieta by Michelangelo or Water Lillies by Monet. Or, it could have been the internal feeling you had when you met your first love, or the day you graduated college. Go back in your mind to these experiences. Savor them. Make them a part of who you are.
3. Take a few hours on a free day and make a date or appointment with yourself to find and appreciate some beauty and excellence that you would not usually do, something out of ordinary. It could be a walk in nature in a unique place, or observing nature in some new way. Possibly try spending an hour with your child or friend noticing and observing something special or beautiful in them and letting them know about it.
These activities I’ve mentioned are only a few ideas, be creative! Go ahead and take the VIA and have fun playing with your unique gifts!
Well, Martin Seligman created something called the "Values in Action" assessment at the University of Pennsylvania based on his extensive research. Seligman is typically considered the father of strengths-based psychology. Strengths psychology, or Positive Psychology, is concerned with focusing on what is good, healthy, and well with people rather than on what is wrong with them, as unfortunately the field of mental health has tended to do over the past 100 years. Seligman and his team have performed this research on strengths since the 1990’s; over two million people have taken this assessment and it has proven accurate with high validity.
The VIA Survey of Character Strengths is an assessment that offers twenty-four character strengths in six categories which include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence, and can help one understand him or herself better and help one learn to springboard off their innate strengths. Research shows doing this will improve happiness and the overall quality of life. A partial sample of these twenty-four strengths are creativity, curiosity, honesty, zest, kindness, fairness, humility, hope, humor, and so on. The VIA assessment is free to anyone and can be taken online at www.viacharacter.org.
One way to springboard off your strengths using the VIA is to use your favorite character strength in a unique or new way each day. One of my top strengths, or one of my “signature strengths” is Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence. Wow! Think about it, there are so many interesting and creative ways to bring this strength to life. Following are merely a few examples:
1. Gratitude -- Each time you see something of great beauty – STOP! – take a few long, deep breaths and feel a sense of thankfulness. Connect this feeling to a Universal power great than yourself.
2. Visualization – Relax, close your eyes, and allow yourself to go into a brief and simple meditation. Envision past moments of experiencing awe, wonder, or elevation in your life. Maybe it was the birth of your child, or your sibling’s wedding day. Perhaps it was seeing a breathtaking work of art like Pieta by Michelangelo or Water Lillies by Monet. Or, it could have been the internal feeling you had when you met your first love, or the day you graduated college. Go back in your mind to these experiences. Savor them. Make them a part of who you are.
3. Take a few hours on a free day and make a date or appointment with yourself to find and appreciate some beauty and excellence that you would not usually do, something out of ordinary. It could be a walk in nature in a unique place, or observing nature in some new way. Possibly try spending an hour with your child or friend noticing and observing something special or beautiful in them and letting them know about it.
These activities I’ve mentioned are only a few ideas, be creative! Go ahead and take the VIA and have fun playing with your unique gifts!
Friday, January 24, 2014
Avoidance of Change Blocks You From Reaching Your True Potential
The current research seems to bear it out: a Gallup Poll reveals a high percentage of Americans are unhappy and unfulfilled, only 30 % of Americans feel engaged by their work and more than 60% do not feel that their skills and talents are being used effectively in their work or by their employer. One of the driving questions I often think about is: if people are not happy with their lives and with their jobs and with what they spend their time doing each day, then why won’t more people make changes in their life? Why do so many people, as Henry David Thoreau wrote nearly 200 years ago, “lead lives of quiet desperation” remaining unhappy, tragically stuck in situations that are draining them of vitality, hope, enthusiasm, and energy?
Of course part of the blame is to be put on the work and economic system, we know that the state of the American economy in 2014 is not optimal and that there is a big rift between rich and poor and that the material gains of work are not always the driving force they could be for vocational satisfaction. For that matter, even in more comfortable times it’s never been easy to create or find the job of one’s dreams, it simply won’t fall into your lap. Nevertheless, the reality is that America is among the most abundant countries in the world with tremendous opportunity, even with a down but shifting upward economy. We also know that happiness is not ALL about work, there is a bigger picture to the "happiness puzzle," but job satisfaction does comprise a substantial piece of this puzzle. Knowing that one spends almost ½ their waking hours at their work, it then becomes clear how significant job satisfaction will be to life satisfaction.
The reason that people remain stuck is that too often, people tend to avoid change. We tend to avoid making decisions and changes necessary to create happiness and fulfillment based upon feelings of comfort or short-term gain, rather than long-term fulfillment. If there is a steady paycheck coming each week, even if it is not truly what we know we need in terms of happiness, still we don’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize it.
Ask yourself extremely an important question: “What is holding me back to living my passion?” “What are the roadblocks – in terms of psychological, financial, life resources, or anything else – I am allowing to impede my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?” Remember that the founding fathers declared in the Declaration of Independence over 200 years ago that, “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are unalienable rights given by our Creator. What they wrote was true; however, what the founders did not also mention was that we sometimes must pursue or create these things in order for them to work for us in our lives, they probably aren’t going to drop in our laps. Unfortunately, at times we are each our own worst enemy and allow the fear of change, avoidance, or denial to get in the way of finding our own truth. You can therefore ask, what are some ways to make life transformation easier to handle so I won't fear change so much?
Of course part of the blame is to be put on the work and economic system, we know that the state of the American economy in 2014 is not optimal and that there is a big rift between rich and poor and that the material gains of work are not always the driving force they could be for vocational satisfaction. For that matter, even in more comfortable times it’s never been easy to create or find the job of one’s dreams, it simply won’t fall into your lap. Nevertheless, the reality is that America is among the most abundant countries in the world with tremendous opportunity, even with a down but shifting upward economy. We also know that happiness is not ALL about work, there is a bigger picture to the "happiness puzzle," but job satisfaction does comprise a substantial piece of this puzzle. Knowing that one spends almost ½ their waking hours at their work, it then becomes clear how significant job satisfaction will be to life satisfaction.
The reason that people remain stuck is that too often, people tend to avoid change. We tend to avoid making decisions and changes necessary to create happiness and fulfillment based upon feelings of comfort or short-term gain, rather than long-term fulfillment. If there is a steady paycheck coming each week, even if it is not truly what we know we need in terms of happiness, still we don’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize it.
Ask yourself extremely an important question: “What is holding me back to living my passion?” “What are the roadblocks – in terms of psychological, financial, life resources, or anything else – I am allowing to impede my pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?” Remember that the founding fathers declared in the Declaration of Independence over 200 years ago that, “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are unalienable rights given by our Creator. What they wrote was true; however, what the founders did not also mention was that we sometimes must pursue or create these things in order for them to work for us in our lives, they probably aren’t going to drop in our laps. Unfortunately, at times we are each our own worst enemy and allow the fear of change, avoidance, or denial to get in the way of finding our own truth. You can therefore ask, what are some ways to make life transformation easier to handle so I won't fear change so much?
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